The Lad of the Shiny Circle
by iamchole5
Summary: A very RANDOM parody of The Lord of the Rings. Now going to span over the entire trilogy. Very funny ( i hope) and TOTALLY RANDOM! If you have a problem with the rating, it's only for mild laqnguag and extreme weirdness! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. In the Begining There was Humor

How the Fellowship REALLY got started

Disclaimer: MAHAHAHA!!!! I went to Tolkien's grave and STOLE the rights to Lord of the Rings!!! No I didn't! Damn imaginative yet non-realistical imagination!!!

This is slightly edited b/c someone (shifty eyes at people of fan fiction) took off my story so i'm reposting it! Mahahaha!

Ok a couple of notes de author (no, not authors notes, haha a way AROUND authority!!!): I was Extremely SUGAR HIGH the entire week it took me to write this (actually the first part I wrote between 11 and 3 a.m. one night when I couldn't sleep and just kept adding to it!), incase you couldn't tell from their OBVIOUS personality here is a list of who my characters are who they want you to think their names are: First old dude I mention who has an EVIL spirit Sauron, little crazed dude/smugoalSméagol, HAHAGollum, Bobo BaggypantsBilbo Baggins, FernandoFrodo, ShamSam, PoppyPippin, MerfyMerry, GoGolfGandalf LegoLegolas, Hooded GuyStrider, El SmithoElrond, Awry: Arwen

I know I make fun of people with asthmatic problems but I am not truly insulting them because I myself have Asthma, I also insult people that work in medicine even though my mom is a nurse and quite a few of my friends parents are doctors. Yes this is RATHER long but it IS rather long. Anything in ( ) is just random notes I think make this even FUNNIER!!!!

So, there was this old dude right? (There was okay, just believe it there was!) Now, he knew he wasn't EXACTLY immortal, but he wanted his EVIL sprit (Mahahaha) to live on forever and ever. So he made this sparkly thing in the shape of a circle most people would call it a RING (dunno why) So this EVIL RING decided it wanted to be a nice necklace instead. So he jumped off the old creep's finger and ran away. (Yea, I know peoples say Aragorn's ancestor chopped off the dude's finger with the SPECIAL Sword, but they're WRONG!!!) SO anyhow the ring was just strolling' oh so very innocently to a nice ice fishing spot (yes, MIDDLE Earth started ice-fishing not ALASKA, stupid inaccurate copyright laws!)

So these short little crazed dudes (actually crazed not just a form of speech) who were very attracted to the shiny thing at the bottom of the frozen lake. One of the dudes jumped into the icy lake while the other stood on the ice and did the hokie pokie! So the little dude Smugoal (No, not Sméagol, smugoal, got it? I don't care just keep reading) watched as his friend/brother/cousin/mother/grandfather/uncle(Now it seems like the little dudes have all these distant relatives, but they're actually mostly just the one dude) go skippy-skippy-do on the thin ice. Then smugoal saw the shininess suspended in mid-water and went and got it.

When he came back his friend/ (must I go on? Well, I'm not gonna) was gone and in his place stood a sign that read: I'm-goin'-real-fishin'-cause-this-ice-fishin'-crap-is-freezin-my-a...(yes there were actually dots on the sign) Years and days passed Smugoal just kept sayin' over and over "My precious" and the ring got bored and decided to be all EVIL again and went POOF LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO and changed the really cute Smugoal (yes REALLY CUTE) into this ugly little freak with back problems (note the spine that is like sticking out of back) as well as asthmatic problems so every five days he would hack up a lung (he had a lot of lungs) and every time he did there was this really irritating sound that went "HAHA". Now HAHA was not Smugoal's split like they WANT you to think, nope it was this little fuzzy bunny that stalked him. "HOP, I'M STALKING YOU, HIPPY-HOP I SEE YOU" the bunny would say and Smugoal would turn around and go to slap him but his fuzzy bunniness would overcome him and he would just smile and that would cause laugh-lines (that's right folks those are not frown-wrinkles they're smile-lines, hehe DON'T SMILE!!!) But then "Hip, I can see you, Hop, I know where you live" and it would all start again.

But then 497 years later (no not 500) a fat little hobbit (the NEW name short little dude) called Bobo Baggypants was being arrested but the justice system was pretty simple in those days: you spend months, and months, and months planning on how to break into that stash without getting caught the pole lice (nowadays called "police" what a concept) stand behind a shelf, let you steal whatever you want and then on your way out poke you in the left eye (never the right eye because right eyes were scared) then trip you and tie you to a tree, get drunk (those two are not necessarily in that order) then chop down and push it into a deep dark tunnel that they figured was train station. The cave Bobo HAPPENED to be pushed down was HAHA's cave. HAHA had made Smugoal his slave with all his evil-yet-so-very-cute-and-fuzzy-bunnie (not a typo) powers. Smugoal was so desperate to get away from HAHA that he was willing to give up ... (random eyes roll mysteriously back and forth) THE RING. Unfortunately, the ring now belonged to HAHA. So Bobo, being the criminal mastermind that he is, helped Smugoal steal back the ring (not sure why as he saw no benefit for himself) But then Smugoal offered to give THE RING...for a PRICE.

Smugoal is on his knees begging with eyes that made him look like a high/possessed puppy. "Please, please You've got to helps messsss, Just PLEASE TAKE THE BUNNY Take him FAR FAR AWAY" (Eyes grow wider and wider to bursting point on CAPITALIZED words) Smugoal's eyes burst.

"Mahahaha...." HAHA also has asthmatic problems and passes out....we think of what oh so sophisticated doctors call: Lack-of-air-due-to-Laughter (Ah, the medical world so complex and ununderstandable)

Bobo backs out of impossible to escape cave with ease, although he has no skill whatsoever in opening doors.So old hobbit dude (Bobo) gives RING to younger hobbit dude. He shall be called

Fernando.

"Hey look all tiny little unimportant midgets lookie, lookie at this thing that looks like a cookie!" –Fernando. Millions and billions of tiny big foots come screaming and trying to eat THE RING. One succeeded in chewing on part of it as well as Fernando's finger.

"Hellu Fernando. Sorry about the whole chewing on your finger thing" Crazed little hobbit says as he continues to chew on Fernando's finger.

"Well hellu little fat hobbit who's in love with me and creeps outside my window at night and who is trying to eat my finger but does not realize that that's impossible because it is made of oh-so-edible-Superglue."- Fernando

Crazed fat hobbit (from now on called Sham) continues to eat finger. An old dude in square hat shows up (not a pointy hat, not top hat a square hat) and taps Sham.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What are you trying to KILL ME?!! Stupid old men with tapping fingers always going around taping and poking people, not people, HOBBITS!"- Sham

Fernando jumps at the sound of poking even though he was already levitating. "POKE!" He pokes the old man who goes unconscious. (old manGoGolf)

"THE RING IS SO PRETTY BUT EVIL!" –GoGolf

Fernando shrieks like a little girl. (Spontaneous author's note: Notice how whenever a little girl shrieks no one says stuff like: Shrieks like a 30 year old man)

"AT THE YMCA WE ALL EXPLODE" Sham said singing and doing hand motions to the Macarena to the beat of Locomotion. GoGolf wakes up...sort of.

GoGolf tosses THE RING into conviently placed lake. The RING then read in the foreign language of BRITISH: "Go to Rivendell and have GoGolf disappear and work on his apperation skills."

So they obeyed. On the way they met Poppy and Merfy. Short description of Poppy and Merfy: cute, high, hobbits, from the Shire, related somehow to Fernando, like beer, funny fools. Merfy and Poppy landed on Fernando and Sham when they fell out of the sky.

"WOW! You're like hairy little raindrops!" -Sham

"WOOHOO! I can FLY! Watch me!" Merfy runs into tree, then like a squirrel up the tree, does not come down...yet.

Poppy grasps ring from Fernando's sissy grip. "YOINK!"

Fernando looks Poppy deep in the eyes. "You STOLE...my dress!" Fernando tackles Poppy to ground Poppy bites Fernando.

"Did you just BITE me?"- Fernando

"Actually...that was me."- Sham

"YOU? How could it possibly be you?! You're in quicksand."- Fernando

"Yes." – Sham

Poppy & Merfy come out of sea monster's stomach and take turns hitting Fernando and Sham with fish, bananas and top hats. Fernando, Sham, Merfy, and Poppy go hikey hikey through places. They come to a bar.

"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Poppy & Merfy jump and while mid-air do victory dance for finding a bar where they can drink...and get drunk (Just in case SOMEONE didn't get why they would be that happy about finding a bar read their description above).

Merfy & Poppy get drunk...in world record time. Sham takes up a whole table because of the dry quicksand and the big lunch he had the day before. Leaving Fernando alone, just like he liked it...Nice and Alone. Fernando, who was spacing about space, perked up his big hobbity ears when he heard Poppy talking about IT.

"No, Poppy! You weren't supposed to tell anyone!" -Fernando tackles Poppy. Poppy bashes his head against bar stool. Merfy and Sham come as fast as they can (for Sham that is not very fast)

Merfy & Sham & Fernando pull unconscious Poppy to table and shake him. When this fails they pour beer on him, under his nose, and down his pants. "Poppy you STUPIDNESS of a Took! You aren't supposed to tell anyone one about…" all turn to see if anyone is listening, they are, as they turn their back it's a four-way head-bunk, "  
the STASH." Man in hood comes over and easily lifts each hobbit, except Sham, with a single finger (Sham needed to be carried by TWO fingers.)

"So where is it?" - Hooded Guy All Hobbits stand there in utter silence (hehe...utter...silence). "I said where IS IT?!" Hooded Guy's eyes become much like Smugoal's when he was begging Bobo to take HAHA away.

"We have no idea what you're talking about. We hide nothing."- Fernando (Don't know if this We refers to himself and other hobbits or...other people)

"Indeed." Hooded Guy puts out lit candle with forefinger and thumb (not sure why) "Owwwwww!!!!! That REALLY hurt! You BEEPIN' candle you burned my beepin' finger!"

All hobbits gasp. Poppy hiccups.

"So where is it? Where is the STASH? I MUST KNOW!!!!" Hooded Guy shakes lamppost which he thinks is Fernando.

"Uh, hooded guy I'm over here."- Fernando. Hooded Guy goes to grab and shake him but trips over his over his shoelaces and hits the floor instead. Gets back up and starts to shake Poppy!

"Ah my dear hooded fellow, you are so very confuzzled." Merfy said blowing on his finger nails as if he had just painted them with pretty pink nail polish. "That is not Fernando nor I nor Sham. The one whom you are shaking is Poppy. It is true that he knows of the place of unintelligible knowledge but you will not acquire it in that way."

All look and Merfy and blink. Merfy looks at his blue toenails.

"Yes, but Where is the STASH? I must know for...show and tell." - Hooded Guy

"Well unless you let me go I refuse to tell you and shall not tell you where it is." Poppy starts kicking Hooded Guy.

Hooded Guy drops Poppy. "Piggy back Ride! Piggy! Piggy back Ride!" All lights turn on.

"Ah! I'm BLINDED!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Mr. Fernando help me!" –Sham Fernando drops ice cream cone and puts on military uniform, jumps out window, and magically reappears! (With normal clothing on)

"What are you doing here?" Poppy asked not noticing the outfit change.

Fernando very happily and hyperly (like me right now) "Well, I WAS falling and falling and falling and falling AND THEN I was back here!" said and smiled.

"AHHHHHHHHH! You STUPID falling, tree-like hobbit!" Hooded Guy jumps out same window as Fernando but does NOT magically reappear. All hobbits start to dance.

Poppy does the Cha-cha, Merfy does the chicken dance, and Sham and Fernando did the can-can. Fernando was reluctant to have Sham touch him but he just LOVED the can-can so much!

After their little Par-tay the hobbits left the Bouncing Pony Inn, and decided to sleep instead on a BIG rock. In the middle of the night Sham got hungry (shock) so Merfy and Poppy said a fire would keep his stomach warm and lit one for him. Fernando woke up because he smelled dirty feet and looked over the edge and saw scary monsters at the bottom!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Monsters!!!" Fernando was so afraid he ran and did a belly-flop on top of the fire!!! The monsters chased them all the way to a stony mountain called Weasel Top.

At Weasel Top:

Cheesy soap opera music plays.

"Ahhhh! I have been stabbed by an invisible sword that is being held by an invisible person that I can only see I can only see because I became invisible, making them visible and now I have a BOO-BOO!"- Fernando

Hooded Guy shows up to save the day after it being un-saved. Except now he wasn't wearing a hood. (He shall now be called Un-hooded Guy)

Whap, Bam, Pow, Smack. "Ooh lipstick!" Wap, Fly swat, Stab, and then he went to go fight the bad guys.

After evil guys recoiled in fear of the self-abusive Un-hooded Guy:

"Okie Dokie Sham, I need Big PINK PRETTY flowers, it will bring out his eyes, and then I need some healing plants." – Un-hooded Guy

Sham goes and gets flowers and comes back covered in thorns. The beautiful elven princess, who happened to be Un-hooded Guy's girlfriend, HAPPENED to show up. Then the elfin princess, named Awry, slapped Un-hooded Guy for not calling her last night.

"But baby, I was in this Inn and I had to save the hobbits and..." – Un-hooded Guy

"Whatever! Just don't do it again! Ok, I'll take him to my father. " Arwy gets on horse and rides away. Does a double-take on horse and goes back and gets Fernando and rides away again.

The evil peoples try to chase her but they can't due to their horses abandoned and they had no legs. So she rode Fernando to her father's aid because elves have speciallity special healing power and he was especially powerfully powerful in these powers. His name was El Smitho. El Smitho healed Mr. Fernando as best he could and Fernando survived. El Smitho then held a council at his council of Councily Councilness.


	2. El Smitho's Councilio

Disclaimer: Mahahahahahahahaha! Hehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem! I mean Lord of the Rings belongs to....

Pirate swinging on rope breaks through glass window and lands next to author.

"Hellu there matey. Is this where Peter Pan lives?" – Pirate

"Uh...no, I think you're in the wrong story dude." - Chtrin

"Ahh, so sorry to interrupt you miss. Bye bye then."- Pirate

Pirate swings back out and window magically fixes itself.

"So, where was I, right... Lord of the Rings is in the possession of..." - Chtrin

Tony the tiger falls from the sky.

"UMM.... can I help you?" - Chtrin

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Tony runs out door.

"Ok then...I'm just gonna do this real fast...LOTRbelongstoafellownamed...."- Chtrin

Entire fellowship appears from random entrances such as windows, fireplaces, spoons, bananas, chair cushions, and phone wires.

"Hey! When is it gonna get back to us! I need to express my Kingly Kingness of being King." - Aragorn (using their REAL names for now):

"Yeah, and I need to slap him when he starts acting stupid." -Boromir

Arwen slaps Boromir. "Hey! That's my job."

"I think...." - Pippin

"Shut up!" - All

Pippin starts to cry.

Chtrin slaps all except Pippin. "How DARE you make Pippin cry? How DARE you?"

Gandalf being all delayed, "FOOL OF A TOOK!"

"Stupid old man! slaps him REALLY hard So anyway, Lord of the Rings belongs to..." - Chtrin

"Do you have any food?" - Sam

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I give up! On with the fic!" -Chtrin

All jump for joy.

"Is there any food?" - Merry, Pippin, and Sam

Before I start the fic I have to thank my ever faithful reviewers. In 24 hours of being posted I had 5 reviews! WHOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! Yippy! That makes me reallly happy especial since my last story has been posted for WEEKS and I've only gotten 2 reviews! Thank you all! I shall make it a point to read and review all of your stories if you keep reading and reviewing this one! Thankie! (This is still here b/c I still want to remember my reviewers that reviewed before I was forced to replace it).

Cation: Warning! The following contains TOTAL RANDOMNESS that DOES express the ideas off the top of the author's head.

Ok NOW really back to the fic....

Chapter 2: El Smitho's Councilio

All the hobbity little hobbits of hobbitness were about to burst with joy (literally) when they saw that Fernando was O...K. They bounced up and down on his bed which made him sick in a different way and he spend the rest of the afternoon puking all over El Smitho's elfish possessions. El Smitho came in and smiled because he loved cleaning up messes like this. He got a mop and his maids outfit and made the room all sparkly clean.

"Okie Dokie, now that my room is the cleanest in all the land we can talk about... PEANUT BUTTER!" – El Smitho

"What? No, we need to talk about..." – GoGolf

But El Smitho had already skipped off following a butterfly he thought was a flying blob of peanut butter and attempting to catch it fell over the edge and slashed in the water and

starts to swim like a frog. Awry looks embarressed and proud

"SO...that's your...father!" –Un-hooded Guy

"Umm....Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Arwy rather spontaneously jumped off hill and rolled down mountain.

"Wait Awry!" Unhooded Guy does the same.

"Ahhhhh! What are you doing here? I'm the only one who can jump off a hill and roll down a mountain at the same time!" - Arwy

Unhooded Guy looks at the sky. "I love you."

"That was rather random...but sweet."- Arwy

Unhooded Guy starts to bounce up and down. Screams. "Somebody loves me! And she's a really pretty elfin princess! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" – Un-hooded Guy

Lego ubertastically disturbed. "So..."

"SO she LOVES ME!"- Un-hooded Guy

"Yes, and...." – Lego

"Well, does an elfish princess love YOU?!"- Un-hooded Guy

Lego realizes that no one has ever loved him before and starts to cry.

"Awww! It's okay Lego. Lots of rabid fangirls girls you've never met before google over your hotness."- Katie

"Really?" Lego lifts head slightly, "so somebody does love me?"

"Of course Lego, I LOVE you!" -Katie

Lego puts on little red riding hood outfit and skips around. "Lalalalalalalala! Girls LOVE me! Take that Un-hooded Man!"

"Un-hooded Guy!, no man! Wait! Do you even know the girls who love you?" – Un-hooded Guy

Lego stops skipping. "Well...no...but..."

"You know me!" Katie said with a girlish smile. (shocking since she IS a girl)

"Who ARE you?" - Lego

"I am Kathleen Kuper, daughter of Dr. Kuper, and heir to my imaginary throne. Oh, and I'm her friend." Katie points to girl.

"Who's she?"- Lego

"She is Chloe, the author and ruler of all! Mahaha!" - Katie

"Umm...that wasn't me." - Katie

Chloe jumps out from behind Katie.

"Wow! That was creepy!"- Katie

"Hobbits! Hobbits! HOBBITS! Elfy!" Chloe runs from googling over hobbits to hug Lego.

Lego looks at girl hugging him. "See Un-hooded Man!"

"Un-hooded Guy!"- Un-hooded Guy

"Ok little urchin please le me alone now."- Lego

Chloe lets go and Katie hugs him.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Too many people love me!" And thus began Lego's fear of fan girls.

El Smitho was starting to gather in his marbel gazebo and found Lego there in a feedle position under one of the non comfy chairs.

"Um...Lego? What are you doing here?" – El Smitho

Lego takes thumb out of mouth. "Must...hide...from....fan girls!" He twitches, puts thumb back in mouth.

"Why don't I have rabid fan girls that make ME want to sit in a feedle position underneath a chair" Lego puts hands on hips and pouts.

Everyone comes in gazebo.

GoGolf apperates on top of Poppy, "Yes! I did it!" but obviously didn't do it right because he looks rather like gellatin in the shape of GoGolf.

"That's wonderful oldie! Now get off of me!" - Poppy

GoGolf does not get off of Poppy.

"I have a ring! A sparkly sparkly ring! Sparkle Sparkle!" Fernando bounces off gazebo.

"Okay we are here to decide what must be done with THE RING!"- El Smitho

"I say the ring is all powerful and it must be destroyed in THAT PLACE!" – Un-hooded Guy

"Yes, the fires of Mount Doom in the land of Mordor (rolls "r"in Mordor)." – El Smitho

"Why do you roll your "r"s?"- Merfy

"Well, Merfy it is because I used to be a seal and seals gofRRRRRRRRRRRRRRF!" – El Smitho

"Ohhh! Merfy pushes El Smitho.

"What was that for?" – El Smitho

"I wanted to see if you would turn back into a seal. Me likey seals!" Merfy says with girlish smile and wide eyes.

"Ah, then I understand. We seals are very loveable creatures!" – El Smitho

Bomby stares at Unhooded Guy evilly.

"Would you stop evilly staring at me?" – Un-hooded Guy

"Why should we trust a lunatic like you?"- Bomby

"This is no mere lunatic, pause this is Acorn, son of his mother and heir to the throne of..." Lego trails off because...

Bomby gets bored and snatches El Smitho's bow and shots arrows at Lego's feet causing him to trip, fall off the edge, into the water, and come back up again several times.

"Yeah! Pool Party!" Sham runs into house and comes back in a bikini and jumps off the edge.

All others shutter and are disturbed.

"Moving right along... Hey, what are you two doing here?" El Smitho spots Chloe and Katie smiling happily in the corner.

"Hehehehehe! Mahahahaha!" –Chloe

"Translation: We are here to watch over and stalk the Fellowship." – Katie

"Ah, well that's quite all right. Wait! How did you know I was going to call them the Fellowship I haven't even gotten to that part yet! Explain yourselves!" – El Smitho

"Oh..."- Chloe

"Shit!"- Katie

"Run!"- Chloe

So they ran but it turns out El Smitho has elfish summoning powers and pulls them back.

"I said EXPLAIN, not RUN didn't I? Oh my god, am I losing my voice? Nooooooooooooo! My beautiful voice!"- El Smitho

"Do you want us to EXPLAIN or not Mr. Angent man?"- Katie

"It's El Smitho!" –Can't you guess who said that?

"Okay, so we were having this OMG sleep over party and we both fell asleep and had a dream about Middle Earth and now OMG now we're here! "- Chloe

Katie does girlish thing with wrist even though she wasn't the one talking.

"Oh....um....FLOWER!"- El Smitho

"Not again."- Gimles

All look down, except hobbits who have to look up, are shocked to find the little dwarfy standing there.

"Whoa! When did you get here?"- Acorn

"I've been here the whole time, you dumb King... Elfy!" Gimles spots Lego in ball in corner of gazebo and tackles him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Short furry dude! Help me El Smitho!"- Lego

El Smitho watches a tree as it swims through the water.

Chloe and Katie pry the dwarf off Lego, seeing as everyone else was just spacing OR staring into space.

Lego whips tape recorder out of tunic pocket. "Note to self: add dwarfs and fan girls to list of things to fear. Oh, and seashells, they are VERY scary!" Lego puts tape recorder away. "Okay so that's: light bulbs, toilet seats, photo albums, yard sticks, hole punchers, birds, itchy sweaters, rolly chairs, remote controls, fan girls, dwarfsa, and seashells." He shutters.

Fernando appears in statue form slightly to the left of the center of the gazebo (he was already there in normal/hobbit form)

"Mr. Fernando! Nooooooooo!"- Sham

"Sham, I'm right behind you."- Fernando

Sham looks around to find source of non exsistant voice.

Poppy & Merfy go to poke Lego.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Haven't you people disturbed me enough today?!"- Lego

"Actually, we're not people, we're hobbits!" Poppy goes into loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong speech about hobbits, "and the only real PEOPLE who have tortured you today are Acorn and maybe Bomby with all his shooting and all. So the answer to your question is no."

Everyone except Poppy and Bomby were asleep. Bomby had grown extra ears to listen to Poppy's hobbit story.

Bomby smiles. "Tell me MORE!"

Poppy seeeing the obsession in Bomby's eyes and knowing how it felt to be utterly obsessed with something, "Umm...let's save that for later..."

"NOOO! I MUST KNOW NOW!" Bomby's eyes grow much like Smugoals. (wow. It's shocking how many times I'll use that phrase to show how desperate/obsessed somebody is)

Poppy uses Jedi mind trick. "You do not want to hear more about hobbits."

"Yes! Yes I do!"- Bomby

Obi Wan Knobi appears in bubble bath.

"That's supposed to work on the weak minded."- Obi Wan Knobi

"Why are you in a bubble bath?"- Poppy

"I am not in a bubble bath."- Obi Wan Knobi

GoGolf wakes up. "You are not in a bubble bath." He says hypnotized.

"Wow! That was reverse!"- Jared

"How would you know stupid non jediness boy?"- Obi Wan Knobi

"Haha! I'm a Sith!" Jared puts on music and dances with lightsaber.

"Hey! I was once a non jedi, stupid human."- Acorn

"That's right!"- Merfy

Huge cat fight breaks out!

Chloe & Katie & Jared watch and eat popcorn.

"Hey, how did I get..." - Jared

Random stoppiness was on PURPOSE not due to spontaneous seals attacking me. I don't want to offend El Smitho's "people" by saying they attacked me when it was really penquins.

Okie, in case I confused you in the last chapter I shall clarify: azesxrdctfygvbuhjink

(good, ok) I did add a few character: GimlesGimli, AcornAragorn, (by the by Acorn, Hooded Guy and Unhooded Guy are all Aragorn/Strider) I know I use a lot of already over used jokes but I think that Elrond turning out to be a seal is pretty damn orginal.

Lego: puts on little red riding hood outfit and skips around Lalalalalalalala! Girls LOVE me! Take that Unhooded Man!

Un-hooded Guy: Unhooded Guy!, no man! Wait! Do you even know the girls who love you?

Lego: stops skipping Well...no...but...

Katie: You know me! girlish smile (shocking since she IS a girl)

Lego: Who ARE you?

Katie: I am Kathleen Kuperman, daughter of Dr. Kuperman, and heir to my imaginary throne. Oh, and I'm her friend. points to girl

Lego: Who's she?

Katie: She is Chloe, the author and ruler of all! Mahaha!

Katie: Umm...that wasn't me.

Chloe jumps out from behind Katie.

Katie: Wow! That was creepy!

Chloe: Hobbits! Hobbits! HOBBITS! Elfy! runs from googling over hobbits to hug Lego

Lego: looks at girl hugging him See Unhooded Man!

Unhooded Guy: Unhooded Guy!

Lego: Ok little urchin please le me alone now. Chloe lets go and Katie hugs him Ahhhhhhhh! Too many people love me!

And thus began Lego's fear of fan girls.

El Smitho was starting to gather in his marbel gazebo and found Lego there in a feedle position under one of the non comfy chairs.

El Smitho: Um...Lego? What are you doing here?

Lego: takes thumb out of mouth Must...hide...from....fan girls! twitches, puts thumb back in mouth

El Smitho: Why don't I have rabid fan girls that make ME want to sit in a feedle position underneath a chair puts hands on hips and pouts

Everyone comes in gazebo.

GoGolf: apperates on top of Poppy Yes! I did it!but obviously didn't do it right because he looks rather like gellatin in the shape of GoGolf

Poppy: That's wonderful oldie! Now get off of me!

GoGolf: does not get off of Poppy

Fernando: I have a ring! A sparkly sparkly ring! Sparkle Sparkle! bounces off gazebo

El Smitho: Okay we are here to decide what must be done with THE RING!

Unhooded Guy: I say the ring is all powerful and it must be destroyed in THAT PLACE!

El Smitho: Yes, the fires of Mount Doom in the land of Mordor (rolls "r"in Mordor)

Merfy: Why do you roll your "r"s?

El Smitho: Well, Merdy it is because I used to be a seal and seals gofRRRRRRRRRRRRRRF!

Merfy: Ohhh! pushes El Smitho

El Smitho: What was that for?

Merfy: I wanted to see if you would turn back into a seal. Me likey seals! girlish smile and wide eyes

El Smitho: Ah, then I understand. We seals are very loveable creatures!

Bomby stares at Unhooded Guy evilly.

Unhooded Guy: Would you stop evilly staring at me?

Bomby: Why should we trust a lunatic like you?

Lego: This is no mere lunatic, pause this is Acorn, son of his mother and heir to the throne of...trails off because...

Bomby gets bored and snatches El Smitho's bow and shots arrows at Lego's feet causing him to trip, fall off the edge, into the water, and come back up again several times.

Sham: Yeah! Pool Party! runs into house and comes back in a bikini and jumps off the edge

All others: shutter disturbed

El Smitho: Moving right along... Hey, what are you two doing here? spots Chloe and Katie smiling happily in the corner

Chloe: Hehehehehe! Mahahahaha!

Katie: Translation: We are here to watch over and stalk the Fellowship.

El Smitho: Ah, well that's quite all right. Wait! How did you know I was going to call them the Fellowship I haven't even gotten to that part yet! Explain yourselves!

Chloe: Oh...

Katie: Shit!

Chloe: Run!

So they ran but it turns out El Smitho has elfish summoning powers and pulls them back.

El Smitho: I said EXPLAIN, not RUN didn't I? Oh my god, am I losing my voice? Nooooooooooooo! My beautiful voice!

Katie: Do you want us to EXPLAIN or not Mr. Angent man?

El Smitho: It's El Smitho!

Chloe: Okay, so we were having this OMG sleep over party and we both fell asleep and had a dream about Middle Earth and now OMG now we're here!

Katie: does girlish thing with wrist even though she wasn't the one talking

El Smitho: Oh....um....FLOWER!

Gimles: Not again.

All: look down, except hobbits who have to look up, are shocked to find the little dwarfy standing there

Acorn: Whoa! When did you get here?

Gimles: I've been here the whole time, you dumb King... Elfy! spots Lego in ball in corner of gazebo and tackles him

Lego: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Short furry dude! Help me El Smitho!

El Smitho: watches a tree as it swims through the water

Chloe and Katie pry the dwarf off Lego, seeing as everyone else was just spacing OR staring into space.

Lego: whips tape recorder out of tunic pocket Note to self: add dwarfs and fan girls to list of things to fear. Oh, and seashells, they are VERY scary! puts tape recorder away Okay so that's: light bulbs, toilet seats, photo albums, yard sticks, hole punchers, birds, itchy sweaters, rolly chairs, remote controls, fan girls, dwarfsa, and seashells. shutters

Fernando appears in statue form slightly to the left of the center of the gazebo (he was already there in normal/hobbit form)

Sham: Mr. Fernando! Nooooooooo!

Fernando: Sham, I'm right behind you.

Sham: looks around to find source of non exsistant voice

Poppy & Merfy go to poke Lego.

Lego: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Haven't you people disturbed me enough today?!

Poppy: Actually, we're not people, we're hobbits! goes into loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong speech about hobbits and the only real PEOPLE who have tortured you today are Acorn and maybe Bomby with all his shooting and all. So the answer to your question is no.

Everyone except Poppy and Bomby were asleep. Bomby had grown extra ears to listen to Poppy's hobbit story.

Bomby: smiles Tell me MORE!

Poppy: seeeing the obsession in Bomby's eyes and knowing how it felt to be utterly obsessed with something Umm...let's save that for later...

Bomby: NOOO! I MUST KNOW NOW! eyes grow much like Smugoals (wow. It's shocking how many times I'll use that phrase to show how desperate/obsessed somebody is)

Poppy: uses Jedi mind trick You do not want to hear more about hobbits.

Bomby: Yes! Yes I do!

Obi Wan Knobi appears in bubble bath.

Obi Wan Knobi: That's supposed to work on the weak minded.

Poppy: Why are you in a bubble bath?

Obi Wan Knobi: I am not in a bubble bath.

GoGolf: wakes up You are not in a bubble bath. hypnotized

Jared: Wow! That was reverse!

Obi Wan Knobi: How would you know stupid non jediness boy?

Jared: Haha! I'm a Sith! puts on music and dances with lightsaber

Acorn: Hey! I was once a non jedi, stupid human.

Merfy: That's right!

Huge cat fight breaks out!

Chloe&Katie&Jared: watch and eat popcorn

Jared: Hey, how did I get...

Random stoppiness was on PURPOSE not due to spontaneous seals attacking me. I don't want to offend El Smitho's "people" by saying they attacked me when it was really penquins.

Okie, in case I confused you in the last chapter I shall clarify: azesxrdctfygvbuhjink

(good, ok) I did add a few character: GimlesGimli, AcornAragorn, (by the by Acorn, Hooded Guy and Unhooded Guy are all Aragorn/Strider) I know I use a lot of already over used jokes but I think that Elrond turning out to be a seal is pretty damn orginal.


	3. More Craziness at Rivendell

Disclamier: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I just found out...... I actually DON'T own Lord of the Rings! MY LIFE IS OVER!

Chapter 3: More Craziness at Rivendell

"here?"- Jared

"Do you not remember?" Katie said speaking all properly.

"That would explain why I asked."- Jared

Chloe laugh, laughs again, and laughs yet again and this time drops to the floor, doesn't inhale enough oxygen and blacks out.

Jared and Katie do not notice.....or do they?

"Soooooooooooooooo..."- Katie

"SO HOW did I get here?"- Jared

"OH...RIGHT!" Katie points finger and indicates that she knows what he's talking about.

"So...HOW???"- Jared

Katie walks away.

Jared looks at unconsious-becoming-concious Chloe. "Can you tell me how the hell I got here?"

Chloe goes into another laughing fit and passes out.

Meanwhile....

The Fellowship is a giant cloud of smoke (like the ones that appear when cartoon characters fight) Cloud breaks up and everyone falls out including Gimles who flies out biting his own leg.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"- Lego

"Oh what is it now afraido boy?"- Bomby

Lego staring at levitating mirror. "Oh my God! OMG! My hair!"

"Oh...dear! What is wrong with your hair?" Merfy stutters like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh.

"It's...It's..."-Lego

"Oh spit it out lad." Acorn slaps Lego hard on the back.

Lego spits up lobster (live not cooked) which looks up at him and attempts to free himself from the grasp of mouths and jump off the gazebo.

"No Mr. Lobster!" Sham goes and catches lobster which pinches him repeatedly.

"Mr. Lobster? No, I'm Mr. Fernando."- Fernando

GoGolf hits him with staff. "Not you you fool! The Lobster!"

Fernando looks confused.

"That just came out of Lego's mouth."- GoGolf

Fernando looks confused.

"That Sham just called Mr. Lobster"- GoGolf

"But I'm the only one he's supposed to call Mr.!" Fernando hits Sham. "Has your love for me died? You swore you'd be mine to ignore and mistreat forever!"

"And I will be Mr. Frodo!"- Sham

"Mr. Frodo? I'm Mr. Fernando! Is there another?"- Fernando

"Of course there isn't Mr...?"- Sham

"Fernando!" He cries, "You don't love me anymore!"

"But I do!"- Sham

"Then make your choice: me or the Lobster."- Fernando

Sham glances between Fernando's eyes and the lobster, does it several more times for drama. "I choose YOU!" Sham hugs El Smitho and drops Lobster.

Merfy & Poppy see Lobster for first time.

"Whoa! Look Merfy! Walking bread!"- Poppy

"Weeeehooo!"- Merfy

Poppy & Merfy feast on Lobster.

Katie coughs.

"Can I get you a cough drop?"- Acorn

"I'm afraid of cough drops." Lego shivers.

Gimles sneaks up behind Lego and hits him with wrong side of axe.

Lego doesn't react.

Gimles continues to hit him.

2 hours later...

Gimles is still hitting Lego. Lego is STILL not reacting in anyway other than getting bored.

"Can you feel NOTHING?"- Acorn

"I can feel pain and love."- Lego

"Not that! Dwarfo here has been hitting you for hours!"- Acorn

"Oh...yeah. I have slow reflects." Lego

Katie whispers, "Obviously."

"What was that?"- Lego

"Ohh crappy! They can hear whispers."- Katie

Lego whispers, hanging from ledge behind her, "Yes, we can."

"Ahhhh! There's a fly in my ear." Katie spazzes and runs around swatting the non-exsistant fly.

Gimles also thinks there is a fly and tries to hit it with his axe.

"I fear flies." Lego takes out tape recorder and pets it.

"I am your ruler fly! Obey me!"- Acorn

"Actually we're in my kingdom! The Kindom of the Seals!" El Smitho transforms into Little Mermaid.

GoGolf tries to make it disappear with by magic (it fails).

"Protect me Sham! It will try to steal THE RING! It will HURT ME!"- Fernando

"No! Mr. Fernando! I WILL save you!" Sham jumps in front of Poppy.

"Why do you people keep confusing me for Fernando? First Hooded Man!"- Poppy

"Hooded Guy!"- Acorn/Unhooded/Hooded Guy

"You mean Acorn."- El Smitho

"Oh yes, Acorn!"- Acorn

"And now the chubby one! That's Fernando! Not me!" Poppy points to Merfy.

"Yup! I'm Fernando!"- Merfy

"No, you're not you stupid...CHEEZ IT! "- Fernando

All look up and see a giant Cheez it falling from the sky. There is a girlish shriek.

"Wow! Acorn has a REALLY girly shriek!"- Chloe

"I have a manly and very kingly shriek!"- Acorn

"Like this." Jared does ear-spliting, extremely girly shriek.

"That was scary."- Katie

"Yes t'was."- Chloe

Gimles throws axe at Lego.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Stop trying to murder me! You little short freak!"- Lego

Gimles kills Lego.

Lego comes back to life. "Mahahaha! Take that puny dwarfy!"

"I am NOT puny!" Gimles puts on inflatable muscles, "See!"

Pencil Glows.

Fernando taps foot impatiently.

Merfy taps foot to the beat of stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin) and sings...quite well.

"I can do that too!" Sham says and sings Billy Joel's Still Rock and Roll.

Poppy sings Creed's Hide.

Fernando sings Dave Matthews' Between the Lines.

Bomby sings Aerosmith's Dream On.

Gimles sings Brittany Spears' Stronger.

Acorn sings Lion King's I wanna be King.

Lego sings Vegietale's Where is my Hairbrush?

GoGolf sings I AM OLD.

El Smitho sings Matrix Revolutions: Why Mr. Anderson (but has trouble because there are no words).

"Too bad nobody recorded that. We could have made an album: The Fellowship Sings!"- Katie

Jared laughs at nothing in particular.

"Look! Lego left his tape recorder on." Chloe stares at blade of grass sprouting through marble.

"Woooohooo! Shall we use it for to make millons of dollars or....BLACKMAIL?"- Katie

"BLACKMAIL!" all laugh evilly.

"Mahahahahaha!" Katie laughs, falls on ground laughing and rolls, still laughing, of ledge.

El Smitho: Sooooo.... Anyone have any idea what we do now?

Jared & Chloe& Katie explain everything that happens in first book, then breathe.

" O...K"- Everybody

"SO I pronounce them what now!"- El Smitho

Katie & Jared & Chloe shout "The Fellowship of the Ring!"

"Ahhhhh! You stupid humans! I can already hear better than you can! When you shout I become slightly deaf!"- El Smitho

Awry comes sliding down air on sled.

"I pronounce you the Fellowship of the Ring!"- El Smitho

"Weeeeehooo! Let's Par-Tay!"- Fellowship

Everyone goes clubbing!

Craziness rules the World! And the Crazy waves are telling you to Review!


	4. To The Club

DISCLAMER: I LOVE Lord of the Rings! Yet I don't own it! Oh, what a cruel cruel world! (Dramatic!) Whoo! I feel CRAZY! I'm guessing you can tell!

Summery for this chapter: Random!

Chapter 4: TO the Club

"Everyone touch this magic pot roast which I made magic with all my magically magical ablilities. It shall lead us the club of Hipness. We must stay HIP!" GoGolf does old man dance and breaks hip, rushes himself to the emergency room and opens all doors with broken hip.

All others touch pot roast, most are burned.

Pot roast catches on fire through spontaneous combustion. Poppy and Merfy attempt to eat it. But with each bite they would burn their mouth, run around the house screaming or fluids and whiskey and dunk their heads in a toilet and/or bathtub. Finally they finished the pot roast and each dunk their head in a very wide toilet made custom for all El Smitho's sticking-head-in-toilet guests. Get flushed by Bomby and go down SPECIAL sewer that just so happened to lead to Sauron's tower. (The one with the EYE)

"Merfy, look! It's a prettyful eye!"- Poppy

"Don't stare right at it!"- Merfy

"But it's so BEAUTIFUL!" Poppy said mesmorized.

Merfy takes on voice of slow-talking clear eyes guy. "For dry, red eyes use Clear Eyes. CAUTION: May contain nuts."

Poppy bounces like a hairy bouncy ball. "Eyes! Eyes! Eyes!" He bounces off tower. "AHHHHH! I mean...WEEEEEEEEE!"

"Oh you poor, poor, high hobbit." Merfy bounces off tower as well.

Both ended up in El Smitho's dirty laundry hamper. Stay in there for 3 days.

Fernando and Sham had stolen Acorn's and Bomby's swords and are doing a mock-imitation-fight.

"Mahahaha! I am your ruler! In disguise! I am your KING! I am so SPECIAL! Bow down to me!"- Fernando (as Acorn)

"Gondor needs no King! They've got my crazy-ass father to ruin their lifes! I BOW to no one! Except myself! I deserve to be bowed down to too ya know!"- Sham (as Bomby)

Both end up hysterically laughing on the ground!

"Do you have any idea who they're makin' fun of?"- Bomby

Acorn brings head out of cloud (real cloud, in the sky), "No. No I don't! My Sword!" and tackles Fernando.

"But I don't have your sword!"- Fernando

"Yes you do!"-Acorn

"No I don't!"- Fernando

"Yes you do! I can see it sticking through your stomach! I raised it from a butter knife! I named it! It is a PART of me!" Acorn cries.

Go through a long conversation of "Ya-huh's" and "Na-huh's" and finally determined that moving trucks can fly but pick-ups cannot.

Sham takes the oblivious Bomby's sword and cuts his hair.

Bomby is reading newspaper and jumps up, "Weeeeehoooooo!!!!!"

"Where is my tape recorder? Where IS IT? I need it! Help me tape recorder!"- Lego

"I have it."- Katie said suspiciously.

"Give it to me! Give it TO me!" Lego's eyes grow like Smugoal's.

"You have to do something for me first!"- Katie

"What?! Anything! Just give me back my TAPE RECORDER!"-Lego

"You have to..."- Katie

"Yes?!!!!!"- Lego

"Give me..."- Katie

"Yes?!!!" Lego says desperately.

"A KISS!!!"- Katie

"Why?"- Lego

Katie waves tape recorder.

"Ok, just don't HURT recordy!" Lego says and kisses Katie.

Chloe graps tape recorder out of Katie's hand. "YOINK!"

"My phrase!"-Kelli

"You have to kiss ME too!" Chloe says Mary-Sueish.

"Ok." Lego sighs and kisses Chloe.

"WhoooooHoooooooo!!! I got kissed by Lego!" Chloe does dance.

"Ah! Give me recordy!"- Lego

Chloe hands over tape recorder.

Lego hugs it.

Katie & Chloe stare in awe.

"3 billion 1 million 2 thousand 5 hundred 62," GoGolf doing jumping jacks, "am I done yet Acorn?"

"Not until you get to your age old man!"- Acorn

GoGolf mumbles and starts jumping jacks again. "Stupid Acorn with all his treeness and pretty leafy hair."

Actorn falls down a hole.

"How are we gonna get to the the club?"- Gimles

"How about you press the petals, Fernando you stear, and I'll watch where we're goin' with my superdy duper elvish vision!"- Lego

GoGolf stops jumping jacks. "I can DRIVE!!!"

"You're senial old man! You'd run us into a tree or something!"-Lego

"I like TREES!"- Merfy

"I like WEED!"- Poppy

"WE KNOW!"- Everybody

"I want to DRIVE!"- GoGolf

"Do your jumping jacks before you break something else! OR I break it for you!"- Acorn

GoGolf reluctantly obeys for fear Acorn will hurt him and stops jumping and starts punching himself.

No one objects.

"Let's go get a car!"- Merfy

Since they have no car they go to a car dealership and find an unattended car of someone who was looking to buy a car. (Not a new car, one in the parking lot) It was a shiny, red convertible!

"SHINY!"- Poppy

"Red!" Sham tries to charge at it with his bullhorns.

GoGolf is reading a script, "It says I'm supposed to yell CONVERTABLE and run and jump into the seats. What the HELL is aa convertable?!"

All turn to look at Chloe, Katie, and Jared for one of their detailed futuristic answers.

Chloe & Jared & Katie lye in the grass and say what they see in the clouds.

The hobbits join them.

"Wow! Look Merf! It's a hobbit smoking weed!"- Poppy

"Did you just call me Merf?"- Merfy

Poppy takes long drag of weed. "Ahhh!"

"I see a birdie!"- Sham

"THE RING! It's in the sky! Must obey Cloud Ring" Fernando tries to swim up to cloud, turns into a balloon and starts to float away.

Sham grasps Fernando by string dangling from his foot, "Mr. Fernando the sky ain't no place for a fine hobbit like yourself!" stares scared at sky, "Nothing but lies beyond that light blue plain! Nothing but evil!"

"I'm MELTING!" Lego said standing next to giant candle and is covered in hot wax.

"I have special putting out candle powers!" Acorn tries the thing with his forefinger and thumb again and fails.

Gimles attempts to chop down candle. The Candle eats him alive.

GoGolf springs on top and tryies to stamp it out with his feet and stab the flame with his staff. The staff catches on fire and he stabs own foot which is now ablaze. "SUCESS!"

All clap loudly.

Gimles is now trapped in an overturned fishbowl.

Poppy quickly hot wires the car and everyone hops in ready to go cruising! Except generally when you go cruising' you don't have specific spot to get to, and they we're trying to get to the club, and you don't have two fangirls and their crazy friend, a dwarf trapped in a fishbowl, an elf covered in wax, an 87 year old man who looks like he's about 30, a wizard who is so old he stopped counting, 4 half-lings, 1 who is obsessed with a ring, or an elf/seal/agent from the machine world in the car.


	5. At The Club

Disclamier: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A lawyer is chasing me because I clamied to own Lord of the Rings and now I'm being pelted with rocks!!!! Ahhhh! Help me my faithful reviewers! If you review you can save me!

Chapter 5

At THE Club

Group seperates as soon as they get to the Club. Except for Fernando and Sham who had gotten lost in the parking lot but no one seemed to notice nor care.

"Come now Mr. Fernando, we got a long journey ahead of us."- Sham

They were actually standing directly in front of the club but took a left back into the parking lot.

Poppy & Merfy scurry over to the bar and tell the bartender that they were twins and it was there birthday and where they come from when two twins that look nothing alike except for the shortness and curly hair they are served a pint on the house.

Bartender (who turns out to be Sam Malone) looks at them suspiciously. "Okie Dokie," pours them each a very large glass of ale.

GoGolf runs into mass of teenagers and tries to dance.

All teenagers are extremely frightened and run away.

GoGolf closes his eyes and dances with his imaginary friends.

A mob of fangirls charge at Lego as soon as he comes through the door.

"Ahhhhh!" Lego runs and dives under a table with a lip-cross shocker force field around it and curls up in a ball and rocks back and forth.

Many stupid Mary-Sues try to walk through the barrier but then..."BUZZ! YOU'VE BEEN ZAPPED!"

Chloe & Katie easily walk through force field.

"But but why didn't you get ZAPPED?" Lego makes twitchy movements.

Katie & Chloe say w/ evil smiles. "We don't wear LIP GLOSS!!!"

"Love me!" Gimles goes around hitting fangirls with his axe to get some attention.

Acorn and Awry go slow/dirty dance somewhat like normal people. Elrond sees this, puts on his sunglasses, actually he stole the sunglasses from agent Smith, then takes out elven sword and repeatedly pokes Acorn in the back. Acorn draws some attention to himself when he jumps on stage and starts imitating Elvis Presley. Then he points Awry out in the crowd which she is no longer in.

"Awry? Awry? Where'd you go sweetheart?"- Acorn

But the word sweetheart made him think of another Elvis song: Blue Christmas and he starts to sing that, forgetting about Awry...for NOW.

Katie & Jared & Chloe were spazzing that they got to go clubbing when they were WAYYY underage.

"SQEEEEEEEEEEEE!"- Katie

"Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Hooooooooooooooooooo!" Chloe doesn't inhale oxygen and would black out yet again but she was too excited to do so

Music stops. All look at ceiling. A door with the words : Janitor's Closet had just appeared in the ceiling (after everyone had looked up)

Kelli & Poppy & Merfy flew out holding brooms, mops, and a bottle of vodka and wearing construction hats.

Kelli & Poppy & Merfy start dancing, then music, very different music from before, plays. At the end of dance they interlock arms and tip hats and walk off stage smoothly but can't because they are not on stage and the only open door, which they ever so smoothly crash into, is an emergency exit that has an alarm directly connected to the police, fire station, and hardware store.

All people from those places appear in a giant ketchup bottle. No one cares. "Regular" music starts to play again and people dance. Fernando & Sham FINALLY come into club.

"Sham, you ever play PINATA?"-Fernando

"Pinata? No, Mr. Fernando. I ain't never heard of Pinata."- Sham

"Well, we're playin' it now!"- Fernando

"I don't advice that Mr. Fernando."-Sham

"Sham, my good fellow have I ever mislead you before?"- Fernando

"Well,...there was that time you told me we were goin' to an all you can eat buffet and locked me in a closet, then there was the time you told me that if I kept drinkin' the margarita mix was goin' to eat me, then there was also the time you said if I stuffed straws up my nose I wouldn't get brain damage, and..."- Sham

Fernando puts blindfolds on Sham, having pink fuzzy blindfolds that say PRINCESS on them. "Well, this is really FUN FUN FUN! Now just take this stick and hit that shiny disco ball! SHINY!"

"DISCO! But I can't see Mr. Fernando! I CAN'T SEE!"- Sham

"I almost FORGOT! I HAVE to SPIN you first!" Fernando spins him to the point of him wanting to barf.

Ball had to be lowered a lot so the hobbits could reach it. So it was pretty much just hovering over the floor.

Sham barfs and hits disco ball with unexpected strength.

"Ouch!"- Ball

Everyone forms a giant line and hit the ball...and each other. Except Awry, who still hasn't reappeared, and Acorn who was still onstage singing, oblivious to everything. Each time the ball was hit it went "Ow!" or "Ouch"

The giant ketchup bottle fell over. No one cared.

The disco ball retracted to the ceiling and just as it was going back into the sun -roof retractable roof ceiling Bomby flew out. (Not like falling actually flying like a birdie) Bomby realizes he's not a bird and turns into a cartoon character.

GoGolf randomly screams at Poppy. "FOOL of a FOOL!"

Poppy dances around GoGolf. "HAHAHA! You messed it up! Now YOU'RE THE FOOL!!!"

GoGolf zappes him and he turns into a demented pig-like creature. "DAMN! I was going for fax machine so I could fax myself to therapy."

"QUACK!"- Poppy


	6. The One Where You Actually Thought They'...

Disclaimer: Thank you my faithful reviewers you have saved me from the law! Mahahahaha! Now all I have to do is write: I do not own Lord of the Rings 8 million times on a blackboard with a glue stick! But it doesn't bother me because it has to do with Lord of the Rings! YEAH!!!!! Ok, only 7,999,998 more to go! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Chapter 6: The One Where You Actually Thought They'd Leave

After a full night of clubbing and odd happenings the Fellowship decided they should actually think about maybe possibly LEAVING Rivendell. Actually, it came to them all in a DREAM!

Fernanodo's Dream:

Fruit. Oranges, Apples, Pickles all lined up. They started to sing:

"We want the ring

We want the ring

We're going to steal

and take

and rip it off your neck

'cause we want the ring

We want the ring

POTATO!"

Sham's Dream:

It was the 70's dance Par-tay and everyone was boogieing' down and he had just been just been crowned Disco King and King of the Veggie Tale Village.

Poppy's Dream:

He was just sitting there minding his own business smoking weed as usual when a ghost came along. He attempted to hug it but went straight through and went down an infinent abyss and landed in an acorn field in Mario world.

Merfy's Dream:

He was at a fair and filling a glass with various colors of sand.

Lego's Dream:

His hairbrush became a person and they were best friends. Then it started raining door knobs.

Acorn's Dream:

Awry was dancing around a giant glowing lightbulb. A window opened. A frog flew in the window. "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Gimles' Dream:

Lego lying on the ground bleeding and him hitting Lego repeatedly with his axe. Thousands of fangirls scream, cut off his ears, glue them back on, scream some more, and revive Lego. (Turns out it was a bit of a nightmare)

GoGolf's Dream:

He and tiger Woods were golfing at a putt-putt place and they both swung back ever so gently to hit the ball and Tiger Woods breaks his hip and falls over.

GoGolf skips around saying, "I'm not the only one! I'm not the only one! He's old too!" and then he falls and breaks ankle.

Bomby's Dream:

Explosives! BOOM! Pyrotechnics! Poof! Chemicals! (I guess it runs in the family)

El Smitho's Dream:

He's in a pool. A pool of jello. It starts to snow aluminum foil so he sun bathes.

Awry's Dream:

Monkeys. Monkeys swinging in trees. Then it changes to Acorn. Actually his face resembled the monkey's. Then his face began to get old and wrinkly. Then it decayed. Then it went backwards until he was covered in acne. And then to when he was a baby. Then there was a ladder.

The Next Morning:

"I think we should leave Rivendell."- GoGolf

"Really now?"- Fernando

"Yes Really."- GoGolf

"You sure?"- Fernando

"Yes, I'm sure."- GoGolf

"Really?"- Fernando

"Yes."- GoGolf

"Are you positive?"-Fernando

"Yes."- GoGolf watching birds.

"If you were anymore positive you would explode?"- Fernando (hehe mellon)

GoGolfstops bird watching to ponder this, non-existent bird he was watching falls and dies.

Acorn and Awry are on a bridge. Actually it's a giant pine cone going over a river. Awry falls. Comes back like in a video game. (the phasing thing) Awry falls again. Acorn watches. She reappears (again) drenched in wet clothes.

"You could have caught me!"-Arwy

"I know."- Acorn

"Ah, that's so sweet! I give you" Arwy takes necklace off of neck, "my necklace of specialness." She gives him necklace with captive bee at the end which stings them both...a lot.

"Ow" sting "I'm" sting "allergic" sting "to" sting "bees" sting. Acorn blows up like a hot air balloon and floats away.

Awry waves goodbye.

Acorn pops on random tower that just sprung out of the ground.

Awry smiles.

Everyone is packing to leave on the ROAD TRIP!

"Woooo! Merry can you believe it! This is my first Road trip Ever!" Poppy does girlish hand thing and takes swig of whiskey from his over-sized flask.

"Really...I Wonder WHY."- Merfy

"Oh yeah, people say I drink too much and smoke too much and annoy people too much and talk too much and am short too much and have spaz attacks too much and..."- Poppy

"You do."- Merfy

Chloe pulls Fernando to one side of the gazebo after pushing him down a hill into some rose bushes.

"Fernando, I have to tell you something."- Chloe

"Sorry I've already sold my soul to Sham and the ring."- Fernando

"O....K . No, but what I have to say is…" Chloe says in very dramatic voice. "Do not trust those who cross your path only to deceive no matter how much of your heart is filled with pity. Do, however, trust those who have always proven themselves trustworthy and you have never faltered to trust before." She nods toward Sham, does Dr. Evil thing and puts finger to mouth and starts to walk away graciously, then trips on a plastic frog.

"Rippet! I am dead. I will haunt you. Rippet!"- Frog

Back to packing:

Chloe, Jared, Katie, and Kelli go to spy on the Fellowship while they pack. They catch some very VALUBLE blackmail. First they went to the rooms where the Fellowship members are staying and packing.

Lego's Room:

Katie, Chloe, Kelli, and Jared were creeping in the bushes outside Lego's room.

SQUEAK!

"What the hell was that?"- Katie

"Ummm...I think I just steped on a rubber duck." Jared steps on it again.

"No! Don't hurt him! He's my friend!"- Kelli

"Shut up! He'll hear us!" Chloe screams.

"No he won't."- Kelli

"Oh my God! Yes he will! He's got...ELVEN hearing."-Katie

All look up.

Lego is sticking his head out a closed window and staring down at them.

"Oh Shit!"- Katie

"Shhh..."- Chloe

"Hi!:- Kelli

"Wow." Jared shocking and suddenly amazed by elves.

Lego cannot see them, "Hullo there?"

"Doesn't Lego have extra-specialty seeing?"- Chloe

"Yea, why can't he see us?"- Katie

They all stand up and wave hands in front of his face, "HELLO!!!"

"Hmmm..." Lego goes back to packing.

"That was odd."- Jared

"Really?"-Katie

"Yup."- Jared

Chloe digs a hole.

Kelli starts to bury duck in hole and cry.

"Ummm..."- Katie

Jared whips out his magical spoon he stole from Chloe's lunch box a year ago and helps.

Katie stares into window, transforms into wood pecker and starts to banging her birdy head against the window.

Lego packing inside, "OK, I have my toilet paper, bow, 50,000 magically disappearing and reappearing spare arrows, macaroni, goldie the goldfish, sock, party dress, post its, my rock collection,...OMG! Where is my FLUFFY?! No! No! Fluffy! Where are you FLUFFY!" He shrieks so loud the window breaks, pushes Katie off the edge and transforms her back into human form and runs out of room shrieking, "FLUFFY!"

All stare.

"I still have his tape recorder." Katie smiles evily.

"Please tell me you recorded that!"- Chloe

"Of course! Would I miss an opportunity like that?!"- Katie

"Ok great! Who shall we spy on next?"- Chloe

"POPPY!"- Everyone exclaimes.

Poppy's Room:

There were no bushes outside his window so Jared, Chloe, Katie & Kelli were instead hiding in a puddle. The four hobbits were actually sharing a room but Poppy had knocked them out with a cookie sheet.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! I have my lucky necklace and my pretty pink nail polish to paint...I mean," Poppy took on a manly voice, "fend off Orcs!"

Random laugh track plays laughter and applause.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Anyway I have Lego's secret blackmailable Fluffy and cabbage and WEED! AND more WEED! AND WEED! Oh right, and some WEED! BEER! AND WEED!"- Poppy

"Yea, he's OBSESSED! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Hobbits2 (new name for Chloe, Katie, Jared, and Kelli all at the same time) go rather crazy.

Poppy comes to join them.

Hobbits wake up. Hobbits & Hobbits2 are hyper together and Par-Tay!

Lego comes charging through Par-Tay, "FLUFFY! FLUFFY come back to me!"

GoGolf comes out of his room in a bright orange bathrobe with pink pineapples on it and a cow which he had apparently thought was a towel wrapped around his head.

"What's all the racket?"- GoGolf

Poppy takes tennis racket out of his extra super duty pocket and hits GoGolf over the head.

GoGolf goes unconscious.

Poppy ignores Hobbits2 pressed up against wall like spies and blowing bubbles and goes back to packing. "Ok so I have..."

Bubble pops.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm afraid!"-Poppy

"That's my job!"- Lego

"And it's my job to do this! YOINK!" Kelli steals nothing.

Poppy cowers, "I am not surrounded by bubbles."

"Sure you are."- Jared

"AH! No I'm not!" Poppy rocks back and forth.

"Let's take over the world together."- Jared

Poppy perks up, "OK!"

Chloe & Katie raid Poppy's stuff for fangirl shrines. "OMG! It's Poppy's STUFF!"

A Few Hours Later:

Chloe and Katie had confiscated everything Poppy owned except his weed and beer because they knew that those were his most PRIZED possessions and instead gift wrapped them and went to FedEx and shipped them to Jared and Poppy's secret (shhh) Take Over the World Headquarters (TOW).

At Take Over The World Headquarters

Jared & Poppy are planning evilly.

"3"- Jared

"5"- Poppy

"7"- Jared

"Australia!"- Poppy

Jared & Poppy play ping pong.

"Ding Ding Knock Knock!"- UPS Guy

"I'll get the door!" Poppy excitedly jumps through fireplace and into window.

UPS Guy apparently let himself in through non-existent door, "I have a package!"

"We have a package!"- Poppy

Bobble head nods.

Poppy faints!

Chloe & Katie appear.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"- Katie

"Poppy!"- Chloe

Both pour water and beer on him, "We'll save you!"

Poppy sniffs, "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" sleepy and homer Simpson-like, "BEER!" He quickly jumps up and sniffs for source of beer, "BEEER!" spots it and runs over and rips package out of UPS Guy's hands.

"AHHH!" UPS Guy bursts into tears, "You...gave...me...a...PAPERCUT! WAH!!!!!!!!"

Katie, Chloe, Jared and Poppy get tired of the winey UPS Guy and snap their fingers, smiling, and disappear.

Back in Rivendell (yes still in Rivendell):

Everyone is packed and ready to go-ish. Standing at the gateway to Rivendell (is there a gateway?)

Poppy, Katie, Jared, and Chloe appear.

"And the Fellowship shall depart on their perilous quest to save Middle Earth." Elrond bows slightly.

Fellowship & Hobbits2 bow.

"How was that for good timing?"- Jared

Hehe! So you think they should leave now? Umm...shall I stall ever longer? evil look No I won't! I was just inspired about how I could spice up The Mines of Moria. Ohhh even more suspense for you. Now I'd like to thank some of my reviewers.

Karvian: (sorry if it's spelled wrong you know my spelling) Thank you soo much for reviewing! You were an inspiration for this story (being that your in it and you were the first person to read it and help me keep going) Hehe! I think I'll see you before you actually read this but oh well.

THECheeseTurkey: Hehe! I love your stories! Thank you for reviewing mine! And for giving me this idea and not suing me cough cough Anyway I hope you continue your stories and reviewing mine!

Golden Hobbit: Thanks soo much for reviewing! You seem really entusiastic! Yea!

MerenEvenstar: WOW! That was an extremly complementary review! THANK YOU! Yes my imagation is a BIT overactive. HEHE! Thanks so much!

Lis: Thanks for the tip about the Random Magazine. I'm going to try and find a copy it sounds quite interesting! Thanks for reviewing!

Hyperactive forever: Awsome pen name by the way! Thanks for reminding me about Gimli and Boromir. I was of course going to include tham but since they weren't in the first chapter I gave them a bigger part. Thank you for reviewing!

Trick Pony: Sorry about the long paragraph. I tried to seperate the other chapters better. Thanks for reviewing!

Kimi: Hehe! I love different! Thanks for reviewing!

Blonde Archer: Thanks! That was a very EXCITED review! Thanks again!

Maria2004: Thanks for the awsome review! I shall continue! The random thoughts will never stop! HEHE! Your story was great! Glad you liked mine and my review!


	7. Of hiking, not getting anywhere, and the...

Diclaimer: Yea, I don't own Lord of the Rings, and that makes me sad, but if you review it will make me EXTREMLEY happy! Please Review!

Ok, just reading over some of the chapters I realized I had a lot of gay hobbit jokes. I don't think Sam and Frodo are gay, but to clear things up and make sure I don't offend anyone, I am an activist for gay rights and if hobbits want to be gay, that's fine by me.

Chapter 7: Of hiking, not getting anywhere, and the IGNORED Hobbit!

The Fellowship are hiking through lands. The lands are covered in grass. Which is covered in snow. Which is covered in dirt. Which is covered in nuclear waste. Which is covered in an old folks home. Which is again covered in nuclear waste. Which is covered in solid chunks of poison. Which is covered in explosives! Better not let Denathor near here. Which is covered in the corpses of every bad actor and all politicos (not all dead). Which is then covered in moldy cheese. Which is covered in glue. Which is covered in rocks. The rocks are then covered in bombs. The bombs then denenate and self-implode. (Wheater that is actually possible I do not know.)

Lego walks with elven grace.

Acorn walks trying to be graceful.

Gimles walks and talks annoyingly to himself.

Merfy walks and examines a rock (note: all rocks are still self-destructive).

Fernando walks and looks around paranoid.

Sham walks staring at Fernando whispering to himself.

GoGolf trips.

Poppy points.

Bomby laughs.

GoGolf snorts and is crushed by a leaf falling form the Land of Trees With No Leaves, "PLEASE HELP ME!"

Fellowship and Hobbits2 walk away.

"Ohhh!" GoGolf had an anvil fall on him. (I know it's cliché but oh well) poisonous spider holding a bottle of vodka lands on him. "Oh! Vodka!!!" (You guess what he does with it....that's right! He poured out the vodka to "water" the plants and used the bottle as a telescope) "It's very...Blurry!"

"AHHHH! You FOOL! You dumped out... VODKA! MY PRESSSSIOUS!"- Poppy

"I never get any attention! Everyone's sooo Obsessed with Fernando and that Ring! No one cares about me! Look at me! Pay attention to me! Please!"- Merfy

Sham rushes to Merfy's side, "I know how you feel Merfykins. So many love Poppy and Mister Fernando they forget about old Sham and Merfy."

Merfy pushes him away...well, tries. "You have no idea how I feel! At least people acknnowledge your exsistance and make FUN of you! They don't even notice me! And NEVER call me Merfykins again! It's like I'm invisable to you people! I'M RIGHT HERE! I haven't put on the Ring! I'm standing right in front of you! Notice me! Please! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Has mental breakdown.

No one notices.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"- Merfy

"Hey Lego."- Acorn.

"Why do you speak of such horrid things?"- Lego

"It makes me sound all brave and king-gone-fearless-ranger like."- Acorn

"Ah, yes frogs can be unkind."- Lego

Master Frog falls from sky. "We are not UNKIND! We are simply MADLY evil! Mwhahahahahahahaha!"

"Yea!" The frog followers nod in agreement.

"I shall not be afraid!!!!!!"- Lego

"Oink!"- Frog

"Ahhhhhh! Hold me!" Lego jumps into Gimles arms!

"AHHHHH! He touched me! My skin burns!!! No touchy me elf!" Gimles drops Lego.

"YOU DWARF!"- Lego

"WOW! That was offensive!"- Gimles

"You didn't let me finish! STUPID!" Lego blows raspberry.

"Why do you speak such fowl things? You are truely from the dark lands of Mordor!" Gimles says not sarcasticly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Notice Me!"- Merfy

"So you guys like the Beastie Boys?"- Acorn

"I do!"- Jared

The conversation suddenly stops.

"Please Acorn! Please!"- GoGolf

"For the last time NO!"- Acorn

"But I wanna!" GoGolf wines.

"I don't think you should kill yourself!"- Acorn

"I'll come back!"- GoGolf

"How do you know?"- Acorn

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmm…"- GoGolf

"So we shall go over the mountains!"- Acorn

"BUT...."- GoGolf

"NOTICE ME! WAHHH!" Merfy jumps off cliff, comes back,"Did you SEE that? I jumped off a cliff and came back!"

"WOW! I finally noticed..."- Fernando

"THANK YOU!"- Merfy

"That the ring is sparkly!"- Fernando

"AHHHHHH! YOU FORCES OF EVIL!" Merfy destroys office and tips over desk, stuff falls out.

"My MAPLE CANDY!" Bomby finds pile of crap.

Acorn takes out yo-yo and starts yo-yoing.

"WOW!" Gandy says enchanted and starts to drool.

"This is around Middle Earth!"- Acorn

Gandy nods and is oddly interested.

"And this is walk the orc!"- Acorn

"Umm hmm." said Gandy with his interest growing and gets wacked in the nose by yo-yo.

"And this," Acorn said with random pause, "is Balrog's cradle!"

"B...A...L...R....O...G! AHHHHHHHH!" Gandy runs around screaming, bumbs into Merry who is also running around screaming, doesn't notice and continues running until he trips over beard.

"You just fell over me you Old Parinoid Ancient Old Wizard who's Old, Idiot! Ahhhhhh!"- Merfy

"Old Mushrooms! Yea!"- Poppy

Merry: What? NO! That's not what I said at all Selective Hearing Boy!

Poppy: Follow the Yellow Mushroom Path! Follow the Mushroom Cheese Path!

"Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooms!" Sham said w/ an ear shattering high pitched noise.

Everyone covers ears.

Sham's lungs explode, somehow repair themselves, explode again and come back again.

"Selective Hearing Boy to the rescue!" Poppy puts on cape, takes herioc pose, flies, falls, and flies.

"No one knows me! No one loves me! AHHH! My life is meaningless!"- Merfy

"Isn't that a scene from something?"- Chloe

"You heard me!"- Merfy

0.o "What?"- Everyone

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"- Merfy

Fernando tries to skip backwards and falls.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello to all who hath read my story! Yea! By the by, I actually tripped when trying to skip backwards! I recently learned how to skip! Yea! I know it's taken me a long time to finish that chapter but every time i went to write it I got...distracted. But Please Please Review!


	8. Of Arguments and GoGolf Bashing

This was updated a lot faster than chapter 7 because the night I finished that I got an idea for this and then the next day in school...I got rather bored...so here's chapter 8. I much regretted the way I ended chapter 6 because right after I finished it I got to the part in the book where they were at Rivendell and I found a whole bunch of more stuff to make fun of! Oh well, I guess it was enough to have them there for 4 CHAPTERS!

In this chapter and perhaps in others there is a guest-reviewer appearance under request. I may allow a few more surprise appearances but I am really trying to limit the people who don't actually belong in Middle Earth. Although it does add a bit more Random humor! Soooo now that I hath bored you with that message let the Randomness begin...dun dun dun....

Disclaimer: Ok I know mt other disclaimers were long and obnoxious so I decided to make this one short and sweet (cough) (twitch)

I do not...

Random Person in a box: We interrupt this disclaimer to bring you a very British conversation:

"Ello Mate"

"Well ello there old chum"

"Oh Bloody Hell!"

"Whut is it Mate?"

Some buggar stole me Lucky Charms"

gasp "You eat bloody Lucky Charms?"

"Yes but some bloody buggar stole me bloody charms"

"Open the bloody window Mate"

"There's blood on the window! Ahh! (runs toward window) AHHH!

"I guess the bloody window was open ay mate? Mate? (looks out window) (sees body on ground twitching)

Lepercan from Lucky Charms bursts in. "There magically delicious" (falls mysteriously out of window)

(random eyes roll suspiously)

own Lotr.

(P.S. No offence to British readers intended. I know that's not really how you talk but reality must sometimes be given up for the sake of humor)

Chapter 8: Of Arguments and GoGolf Bashing

The Fellowship are sitting down in a patch of grass surrounded by lots of other grass in a very grassy sort of place where grass grows very grassily. They are eating their evening meal of lombas when:

"Poppy, do you know you're chewing with your mouth open?"-GoGolf

"Do you know you're old?" Poppy chews with mouth open.

"Do you know you're short?"- GoGolf

"Do you know you're old?"- Poppy

"Do you know you're high?"- GoGolf

"Do you know you're falling?"- Poppy

"What?"- GoGolf

"Shove!" Poppy pushes GoGolf out of glass bottom boat, jumps onto a stage and does dance. "Ta da!" Tips hat, has roses thrown at him, gets pricked by thorn, bows and leaps off stage bumping into Lego.

GoGolf appears out of ground and soaking wet and dragging a care bear pulling on his robes.  
"FOOL OF A..."

"Give me a Care Bear Hug!"-Care Bear

GoGolf whips out staff, turns around, as he does the care bear moves because he is clinging to the back of his robes, (he looks rather like a dog chasing it's tail) "Ahh! Who said that? Evil fiend!" Blows up part of the ground.

"I love you!"- Care Bear

"Ahh! Do not speak of love! As a member of The Old Men Who Hate Everything About Anything Club (better know as T.O.M.W.H.E.A.A.) I am forbidden to feel, speak, or hear anything related to love or deep emotion that isn't hatred!"- GoGolf

"I want another Care Bear Hug!"- Care Bear

"Ahhh!" GoGolf runs around like a dog chasing it's tail that will never catch it.

Poppy rolls on ground pointing and laughing hysterically.

GoGolf stops chasing his unseen fiend. "BITCH!"

Hype springs out the bushes bouncing on a pogo stick.

"Our tops are made out of rubber!

Our bottoms are made out of springs!

The best thing about being a tigger is

I'm the only one!

Whooooo!"

"Ah! Are you ANOTHER fangirl?"- Lego

Hype still bouncing in pogo stick. "No! I like bashing you better!"

Lego stunned. "But...but...LOVE ME!" Kneels on ground and starts a dramatic scene. "Why! Why won't you love me?"

"My work here is done!" Hype bounces over cliff but springs back up because of pogo stick. "Ahem, My work here IS done!" Tries again, springs back up, "MY WORK HERE IS DONE!" This time doesn't jump over cliff just springs into the air until hit by a balloon and they sour up together until...

"I want a hat."- Fernando

"Here you go Mr. Fernando." Sham hands him a pair of underwear.

"EWWW!" Fernando makes girlish hand movements. "Get them away!"

"They're YOUR underwear!"-Sham

"Sham, what were you doing with my underwear?"- Fernando

"You...forgot...them..."- Sham

Everyone save Sham stares frightened.

Sham: stares back embarrassed tries to bury himself Umm would you help me Mr. Fernando?

"Ok, only if you promise to give me my things and please don't steal anymore of my PERSONAL belongings! Like the ring!" Fernando holds up ring.

"Yes Mr. Fernando."- Sham

"That sounds like a threat to me! Ahh! Attack him Hooded Man!"-Fernando

"My name..." dramatic pause "...is Acorn."- Acorn (Pause is there because of thing in Matrix)

"No! Now Hooded Man!"- Fernando

"Acorn!"- Acorn

"Hooded Man!"- Fernando

"Acorn!"- Acorn

"Hooded Man!"- Fernando

"Acorn!"- Acorn

"Hooded Man!"- Fernando

Acorn: Acorn!"

"Hooded Man!"- Fernando

"Acorn!"- Acorn

"Acorn!"- Fernando

"Right!"- Acorn

"What?"- Fernando

"Poke!"- Acorn

"Ah! He touched me!" Fernando twitches fiercely.

Acorn: Fernando Chill!

"Chill! Cold! Freezing! Snow! Melting! Sunshine! Warmth! The Shire! Flowers! Sham! Gardening! Tag! Tig! Poppy! Merfy! I forgot to feed my dog! Water! Drink! Thirst! Gagging! Dying!"- Fernando

"No! Here's some water Mr. Fernando!"- Sham

"Do...you...have...my...blankie?"- Fernando

"The blue one?"- Sham

"How many blankies do you think I have?"- Fernando

"26."- Sham

"OOOOO! Riiiiiight!"- Fernando

Poppy spitting out food while talking. "I...am...trying...to...eat here!"

"Who's stopping you?"- Merfy

"YOU!"- Poppy

"No I'm not!"- Merfy

"You're bugging me!"- Poppy

"How?"- Merfy

"See!"- Poppy

"NO!"- Merfy

Poppy covers both their eyes. "Now?"

"Yes! I see it so clearly now! You're a....an...a...."- Merfy

"He's a Fool of a Took!"- GoGolf

"What's with all the name calling?"- Disembodied voice

Fellowship starts pointing and screaming at each other.

"Shut up you Idiots!"- Disembodied voice

Fellowship shuts up.

"Ok then. Now each of you calmly tell me why there is all this name calling."- Disembodied voice.

"'Tis a wise voice of old."- GoGolf

"Like you but actually wise?"- Poppy

Lego shoots arrow at disembodied voice.

"You shall pay!"- Disembodied voice

Wind Blows fiercely.

"Soooo..."- Lego

Hurricane starts.

"And..."- Lego

A bolt of lighting strikes his bow which spontaneously combusts.

"Nooooooo! I've had that bow since I was born! I raised it from a slingshot! Nooooo! My Preciosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!"- Lego

Everyone stares.

"I'm still here."- Disembodied voice

Everyone stares into space.

Someone falls out the sky in the background.

No one notices.

"Have you noticed wee haven't gotten anywhere in DAYS?"- GoGolf

Poppy pokes GoGolf's nose, pokes GoGolf's staff, yanks GoGolf's hair andchops of GoGolf's beard.

GoGolf's Beard grows back immediately.

"BUZZ!" GoGolf zaps him.

Poppy transforms back into a hobbit. (recall that in earlier chapters he had been turned into a pig)

It starts to rain.

"My old old friend is right. We must through the Misty Mountains!"- Acorn

"You mean through the Mines of Moria!"- GoGolf

"The Misty Mountains!"- Acorn

"The Mines of Moria!"- GoGolf

"Mountains!"- Acorn

"Mines!"- GoGolf

"Mountains!"- Acorn

"Mines!"- GoGolf

"Slide!"- Acorn

"What?"- GoGolf

"You're Old!"- Acorn

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Thump!"- Disembodied voice.

LissewenLuinWilwarin: Thanks for reviewing! I love your stories! Randomness rocks!!!!! WEE! Hyperness is good!!!!

Karvain: Yes, I am glad Wubbem hath left! Yes, I, Daffidil Flower of Infinate Darkness am a rather SLOW typer but you must bear with me dear friend! For if we fail to alline together than the Dark Lord will cover all the world in Shadow! Ahhhh!

Hyperacticeforever: I love your screen name! I know that yours was a rather quick appearance but perhaps you can come back later and we can bash the government together! Yea! Down with The Man!


	9. Again with the Random

Hello all! This chapter has not been posted yet for my thoughts again drifted! Now they're leaking out of my head! Ahhh! No! Mommy! Wait...chapter! Riiiiight! Must get back funny thoughts!!!

Ok now that I've disturbed you all, well hopefully, with my talking to myself, you know you do it too! Thank you all my faithful viewers!!!!!!!!! Yip-di-do-da! Ok....

Disclaimer: Hello I would just like to say that I do not...

This message is brought to you by the unofficial Hobbits with cool accents foundation:

"AHEM...It seems last time Chtrin made some bloody judgmental comments and me and my colleagues took some bloody offence and are here to bloody complain. I have a scroll of parchment here and my spectacles with which to assist me read it... (unrolls scroll) AHEM AGAIN...We the hobbitses of the British part of the Shire demand to not be made fun of in Disclaimers and such. Oh, whoops wrong scrool. AHEM...Chtrin does not own Lord of the Rings."

Chtrin: "Hey dude you stole my line!"

"Uh...." (Runs on his oh so British legs)

Chapter 9: Again with the Random

A Random bird Randomly falls from the sky, lands on a trampoline, spoings back up, falls again, lands in a Random pile of cactuses, spoings back up, hits a Random UFO, and falls back and hits GoGolf in the head

"Oww!"- Fernando

"Mr. Fernando are you alright?"- Sham

Fernando cries.

"What is it Mr. Fernando?" Sham

"Y...you...you...."- Fernando

"What?"-Sham

"You...you..."- Fernando

"I think he's trying to say something."- Fernando

"Duh! You short little ugly dude!"- Lego

"I heard that!"- Gimles

"That's shocking!"- Lego

"Yes?"- Sham

"SMELL!" Fernando bursts out crying.

Merfy and Poppy burst out laughing.

0.o - Sham

"Fool of a took!"- Acorn

"Fool OF a took!"- Lego

"FOOL of a took!" - Acorn

"FOOL of a TOOK!" - Lego

Poppy: "What?!"

"Oh we don't actually want you!" - Acorn

: ( - Poppy

"Yea we're just trying to figure out who does the best GoGolf impression!" - Lego

0.o - Poppy

GoGolf bitch slaps all of them.

"HEY!"- Fernando

"HEY!"- Sham

"HEY!"- Merfy

"HEY!"- Gimles

"HEY!"- Katie

"HEY!"- Kelli

"HEY!"- Jared

"HEY!"- Chloe

"We deserved it!"- Acorn & Lego

"HEY! Why the hell did you slap me?! I should be slapping you! You jack ass!" Poppy leaps and attempts to slap GoGolf. Struggles. Falls. Tries again. "AHH!"

"Hahaha! Mahahaha!" GoGolf said evil manic laughter.

Poppy jumps REALLY high and grabs the end of GoGolf's beard, climbs up it and slaps him really hard! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

GoGolf's lip trembles, he starts to cry.

"AWW! Is poor GoGolfy sad?!" - Lego

"WAH" GoGolf runs away and cowers in a corner sucking his thumb

Poppy chuckles with evil manic laughter. "Mahahahahahaha!"

0.o Everyone blinks.

Poppy coughs. "I mean...REVENGE IS SWEET!!!!"

"YEA!!!!"- Hobbits2

The rest of the Fellowship slowly back away.

"Don't you think we should be...." - GoGolf

He was unable to finish his sentence for at this point a 500 pound bird fell Randomly out of a Random cloud and exploded all over his shiny grey wizardy hair causing him to run and scream like a girlie until he realized that the bird was still perched on top of his head and humming to itself!

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"- Bird

Hobbits Hobbits2 Fellowship roll on ground and tree roots and puddles of nuclear waste with laughter.

A Random person walks up to Fellowship with a smile WAYYYYYYYYYYYY to big to not be creepy!

Gimles tackles him.

Random guy smiles.

Hobbits poke Random Guy.

Random Guy smiles.

"Sooooo Smiles who are you? AHH! I can't take it!" Acorn beats up Random Smiley Guy.

Random Guy smiles "I am the body of the disembodied voice."

0.o - Everyone

"Disembodied voices have...bodies?!"- Lego

"Where the hell did you come from anyway?!"- Merfy

"I fell off the helicopter!"- Random Guy

0.o - Everyone

GoGolf: "Where the bloody hell did that bloody bird come from?"

Fernando: "Where the bloody hell did your bloody accent come from?!"

Sham "Why the bloody hell are my feet so bloody hairy?!"

All: 0.o

"I was hit by a train once!"- Random Guy

"What about the bloody bird?!"- GoGolf

"This sounds like a job for..."- Kelli

"Selective Hearing Boy!"- Poppy

"And his assistants..."- Jared

"Kosmic Kosher Dill Pickle Girl"- Kati

"And..."- Merfy

"Daffidil Flower of Infinite Darkness Girl"- Chloe

Poppy, Katie, and Chloe appeared on top of a Random cliff with their cloaks on like capes and screaming "DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!"

0.o - Everyone

Poppy & Katie & Chloe fly to Mt. Doom yelling "DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!" and throwing water balloons full of pudding, courtesy of Kelli, at Random orcs and a few evil people before realizing they had neither the One Ring nor the ability to fly!

"AAAAAAAAA"- Poppy

"AAAAHHHHH"- Katie

"HHHHHHHHH"- Chloe

SUSPENSE!

Yay! I finally finished! I actually started right after posting the 8th chapter at dinner which incidently didn't make my parents to happy! Watch out for the flying monkeys behind you! And now to thank my reviewers!:


	10. The Misty Mountain Hop

I'm on winter break now so I'll b posting a lot more. I hope by the end of break to have this story finished. I had a lot of ideas for this chapter and couldn't decide between them so I tried to combine them all! I hoped that works! Please read and review!

Disclaimer:

Chloe: I feel like listening to The Steve Miller Band.

Katie: What does that have to do with not owning Lord of the Rings?

Chloe: (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER)

!#$&&())(&$#!!#$&&())(&$#! !#$&&())(&$#! !#$

Suddenly a Random duck falls from the sky wearing a biker helmet. Then a Random ostrich fell from another cloud wearing a fireman hat. Then a Random penguin fell from the sky wearing a cowboy hat. Then a Random goose fell from the sky wearing a cowboy hat. Then a Random Platypus fell out of the sky wearing a construction hat. Then a large Random chicken fell in the center of all the other birds. They all start singing/humming the tune to the Macarena and doing the moves to the cha cha slide.

"My name is Dwane!" Kelli said randomly.

Everyone make a face 0.o and slowly backed away.

"Hit it Poppy!" Kelli/Dwayne said.

Music starts playing. A multi-color light-up floor appears. A disco ball drops fromsomewhere. Kelli/Dwayne starts to sing. A crowd forms.

"The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!" Dwane started to sing

"Something Original!" said a Random person in crowd.

"First Verse the worst, Oh I wish I was a daisy! Second Verse, same as the first, oh I wish I was a daisy, Third Verse, same as the first,"- Dwayne/ Kelli

"Hey that's my song." Jared said and jumps on stage.

Dwayne and Jared start singing a duet and when they get to verse 57 Poppy, Katie and Chloe come flying and laughing!

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Poppy, Katie and Chloe yelled.

"Ummriiiight!" Acorn said and looked frightened.

"How are you alive?" GoGolf asked.

Poppy & Katie & Chloe make odd face 0.o

"FOOL OF A TOOK! FOOL OF A BLANCH! FOOL OF A KUPERMAN!" GoGolf screamed kind of randomly.

Chloe rolls on ground with hysterical laughter.

Fellowship all make odd face. 0.o

Katie & Kelli & Jared just shrugged and said "We're used to it!"

"Ooook. So Sam, sup?" Merfy asked because he couldn't take not talking for awhile.

Sham was cooking. "I'm cooking for Mr. Fernando!" he said.

"But we JUST ate! And you don't have anything in your pan!" Merfy commented.

Sham looks down at pan, it's empty, he starts to whistle and puts grass and snow in pan.

Fernando says from far away "I already told you Sham, I'm not hungry!"

Merfy tries to strike up conversation "So Un-hooded Guy, where do you get your pipes?"

"MY NAME IS FRICKEN ACORN! You've known that since Cheese (meaning Bree in books)! Why do you insist on calling me Un-hooded Guy?!" Acorn screamed get sick n' tired of the name situation.

Merfy gave a weird smile.

Acorn picks up the pan Sham was cooking with and hits Merfy with it.

"Oww! Sorry that you didn't want to be all Kingy and decided to go around looking like you had just rolled in the mud and went by some other damn name!" Merfy said.

"I apologize Merfy I did not consider that you indeed make no mistake and that it was not the fault of you that the manner I was introduced to you was not the same manner in which I wish to be looked in now!" Acorn said sounding sincere.

"OOOOk I...forgive...you?!" Merfy said confused and made an odd face.

Acorn mumbles loudly "You probably too short to remember anyways!"

"THAT'S IT!" Merfy yelled and tackles him

Acorn & Merfy start fighting.

Fellowship & Hobbits2 yell "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Bomby is talking to Lego "I bet 5 watch shifts on the lil' one!"

Lego says "Deal!"

"I want in on that! 10 shifts on Acorn!" Gimles said.

"Did you just agree with Lego?!" GoGolf questioned and raised an eyebrow.

"NO! I simply...! NO!" Gimles babbles.

Lego smirks "Yes you did!"

"I did not!" said Gimles.

"Did too!" said Lego.

Did not!" said Gimles.

"Did too!" said Lego.

"Did not!" said Gimles.

"Did too!" said Lego.

"Did not!" said Gimles.

Lego & Gimles break into fist fight

Bomby says "15 shifts on the one with shiny hair! SHINY!"

GoGolf says anxiously "I'll take that wager! I've seen dwarfs fight! Oh and also: Would you learn our names already?! I mean seriously you call all the hobbits lil' ones when they're names are clearly: Bobo's nephew, Bobo's nephew's gardener, Curly haired one, and FOOL OF A TOOK!"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Poppy responded instanly.

GoGolf says not noticing "And you call Lego one with Shiny hair, and Gimles slightly taller than lil' ones, and Acorn dumbass who stole my throne and Me Old Grey one!"

Fellowship (including the ones who were fighting) & Hobbits2 stop what they were doing and burst out in severe laughter "That's what he calls you!" more laughter!

"Don't make me get angry!" GoGolf said getting angry already.

All laugh harder.

GoGolf yells "I'm serious!"

All laugh harder.

"You give me no choice!" GoGolf yelled and hits his staff to the ground and they all appear on the top of Cadorhas which actually looks like it's mid-spring and is covered in flowers and all happyful!

All save GoGolf yell happily "YAY!" and run around in circles.

Snow plops on their heads and they begin to freeze.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" GoGolf scream with EVIL laughter!

All make face 0.o

GoGolf causes Random slide to appear and everyone starts to slide down the mountain.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

All YELL in overexcited happiness!

They land at the lake/pond/gross body of water in front of the door of Moria!

"Finally we're actually getting somewhere!" GoGolf yelled happily.

Everyone pushes GoGolf into water.

Water starts to bubble.

"It's like a bubble bath!" Poppy said excitedly.

Merfy & Poppy & Bomby & Sham & Hobbits2 start to pour bubble bath stuff into the water "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! THE BUBBLES!"

"FOOL OF A TOOK!" GoGolf shouts.

"They started it!" Poppy said.

GoGolf goes back to muttering at doors

Fernando comes over to him "Wait isn't it a riddle?"

"Hey dude I said that an hour ago!" Merfy said.

Gimles falls into water "Ahhh! You stupid Elf! You pushed me into the icky slimey stuff!

Lego is far away but looks suspicious "How could you tell you were already icky and slimy! Besides how could I have push you in? I'm all the way over here!"

Merfy and Poppy giggle loudly from inside tree.

Acorn hears them, walks over and pulls back Random curtain in the middle of the tree.

Inside the tree there is a small space Merfy and Poppy are standing in, the space was not even hobbits could usually fit in but they had shrunk because they ate the wrong Mario Mushroom. The tree was filled with finger paints and pictures that look like they had been done by 2 year olds. No offense to Poppy's or Merfy's artistic (or lack there of) skill.

Merfy dips his finger in the yellow finger paint and pokes Poppy's nose and giggles.

Poppy dips his finger in blue finger paint and pokes Merfy's nose and giggles.

Both burst out in hysterical laughter.

"I wanna play" Acorn said as he jumps into the tree and magically shrinks and starts playing with the finger paints.

Bomby tosses rocks repeatedly into water, gets bored with rocks and starts throwing other things like: trees, clumps of dirt, dead animals, GoGolf, his hair, a Random tire...

GoGolf comes out of waterish type thing REALLY mad! "Fool of a Took!"

Poppy yells from tree "I didn't do it!"

GoGolf shakes like a wet dog, mumbles angrily to himself and gets in fight with Bomby leaving the gate to Moria unsupervised.

Fernando, Sham, Katie, Jared, Kelli and Chloe poke door repeatedly.

"We're soooo easily amused!" Hobbits2 screamed and laughed.

"Maybe if I put the Ring on the door it will open for us!" Fernando said spaced again.

"No Mr. Fernando!" Sham yelled or tried too but he had laryngitis.

"Oh what do I do now?" Fernando said still spaced.

"Nothin'" Sham said, "that's what I was just sayin'."

Hobbits2 & Fernando blink dramatically.

Katie turns to Chloe "Hey mellon do pigeons really...?"

The door gate thing opens.

"Oh right mellon is the specially special secrety secret word that opens the door!"

Hobbits2 do strange happy dance.

Merfy jumps out of the tree, covered in many colors of paint and wearing a multi-colored headband "Hey that's my line!"

"Nah-uh it's mine!" Fernando argued.

"Mine!" Merfy yelled.

"Mine!" Fernando yelled.

"Mine!" Merfy yelled and bitched slapped Fernando.

"Mine!" Fernando yelled and bitched slapped Merfy.

Cartoon fist-fight cloud appears.

"Mine!" Random Leprechaun shouts.

Merfy and Fernando pause and blink.

"Hullo!" Leprechaun said.

Poppy comes out of tree covered in paint to look at and poke Leprechaun. "Poke!"

"Ahhh! It burns!" The Leprechaun says as he starts to have a spasm

"Hey you're taller than me!" Fernando told the Leprechaun.

"Top... (spaz) of... (spaz) the... (spaz) mornin'... (spaz) to ... (spaz) ya" the Leprechaun said still spazzing.

"AHHHH! FIEND! LEAVE US!" GoGolf screamed. He levitates the Leprechaun and throws him into the water/lake thing.

"AHHH! Me Lucky Charms!" The Leprechaun yelled while flying and landing in the water.

The water turns the Leprechaun into a giant monster/squid/octupus/thing.

"HOLY CRAP!" Everyone choursed.

"FOOL of a GoGolf" Poppy screeched.

GoGolf looks surprised!

"Yea! How does it make you feel? Huh? Punk?!" Poppy said in a gangsta voice, doing gangsta hand motions.

Hobbits and Hobbits2 start cheering session for Poppy! GO POPPY! GO POPPY! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Loooooooooooooooooooooooong confused pause.

"I'm soo sorry I forgot and I didn't get you a present" Acorn says sadly to Poppy.

Yay! I finally finished! I wish I had gotten further in this chapter but I really wanted to post this quickly!

SydeWinder: Yay! I actually can spell! Aziraphale! Aziraphale! Aziraphale! Random! Hobbits! Shire!

Hype: I am sooooooooo sorry I have this great idea for your entrance unfortunley I was hoping they would get further in this chapter so I could include your part but I just had to end it there and post it! I swear next chapter they will be in Moria and you will make your grand entrance! Thanks for reviewing!

BooDaHamster: Thanks so much for reviewing! Yes, randomness is very good for the soul and for the insane! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ROCK ON RANDOMNESS!

LissewenLuinWilwarin: Thanks for reviewing! I'll be sure to be careful about dragon affairs!

All these people made me very happy by reviewing! Please review and I will be even HAPPIER! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


	11. The NotSo Merry Mines of Moria

Chapter 11: The Not-So-Merry Mines of Moria

A few minutes later: The octopus thing tries to eat Fernando!

"Someone please help Mr. Fernando! PLEASE!" Sham was screaming!

Lego, Acorn, and Gimles were playing poker outside the door of Moria which had just opened.

"Lego, Acorn you have to help him! You have to save Mr. Fernando!" Sham yelled while poking them.

"Fernando!!! Oh my god! We MUST protect him!!!" Acorn jumped up and yelled.

"You're right! Fernando we will save you!" Lego jumped up and yelled like Acorn.

"But I'm winning!" Gimles whined.

Lego shoots at octopus while Acorn chops off a few of his legs.

Fernando fell into Acorn arms and then Sham helped him to stand.

"Shouldn't we kind of be going inside now?" Bomby asked but not moving.

Everyone FINALLY realizes that they should probably move away from the bubbling water with the giant octopus in it and go inside. A few minutes later they actually walk inside.

Door closes dramatically.

Random Screams, mostly from Hobbits and Hobbits2.

"IT'S DARK!"

"I'M SCARED!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Oh fine you big babies I'll turn on a light." GoGolf said and waved his staff

lighting up a very small part of the room.

"Ooooooh-Ahhhh!" Everyone else chorused.

"Oh shut up!" GoGolf said annoyed.

Crunch Crunch Crunch

"Hey does anyone notice that we're stepping on something?" Katie asked.

"Ummm....(crunch)... not really... (crunch)" Poppy said wondering why GoGolf was making them go on this long adventure when he could have just magically poofed the Ring to Mt. Doom.

GoGolf shines light on where they're walking.

"Ewww!" everyone shouted.

"It's…it's…!" Lego said grossed out.

"FURBIES!!!" everyone (even GoGolf) screamed in horror. The room randomly lit up and they saw that the floor was covered in FURBIES! Someone turned on a black light and the room went dark again. Sham tries to pet a FURBIE and make it his friend.

"It bit me! Now I'll have to cook you up and serve you to Mr. Fernando. Yes, I will." Sham said.

"Sham, I'm REALLY not hungry right now." Fernando said trying to stop him. It was too late though, Sham was bound and determined to cook the FURBIE!

"Burn little FURBIE! Burn!" Sham yelled.

All look at him strangely and blink.

"What I can't have an evil, murderous side too?" Sham asked very

seriously. No comment.

Hype jumps out of Random bushes Randomly growing on top of a dead guy.

"Hi everybody!" Hype said.

"Hi Dr. Nick!" Everyone said Randomly. Hype pokes Lego and disappears.

"RIIIIIIGHT!" Hobbits2 all commented.

"So Merfy…" Poppy said acting casual-and-I-have-nothing-to-talk-about-but-I-can't-stand-the-silence-ish.

"You remember that one time when we did the thing?" Merfy said in the same way as Poppy.

"Oh yeah, when we went to that dude's house and we were all like DUDE and he was talkin' all Paris talk and we were like DUDE!!!" Poppy answered. All stare but can't see Merfy and Poppy.

"Hey, we're down here!" Merfy shouted. Everyone looked down, and down, and down, and finally saw them and stared blankly.

Gimles walked into a hard staircase. He walked into the staircase again, and again, and again. GoGolf came over and saw Gimles and walked into the staircase, and walked into it again, and again, and again. Everyone except Acorn walked into the staircase over and over. Acorn finally comes over and figured out they could walk up the staircase after walking into it several times.

"So should we go up the stairs now?" Acorn asked in his Hooded Man voice.

"You know my cousin was this special dwarf guy and…" Gimles started to ramble.

After walking up many flights of stairs the Fellowship came to an open room. Poppy was the first to explore this new room. The others followed and noticed the large stone coffin in the center of the room.

"What do you think is in it?" Lego asked Acorn. Acorn poked it.

"A sword?" Acorn thought out loud.

"No too wide for a sword," Lego said, "maybe a horse?"

"FOOLISH FOOLS!" GoGolf shouted.

"You like that word a lot don't you GoGolfy?" Poppy asked with a giggle.

"It is neither a sword nor a horse, it is obviously a pillow." GoGolf said while Gimles picked up an old book that laid next to the coffin.

"Oh my!" Gimles exclaimed, "It's…it's my uncle!"

"The book is your uncle?" Bomby asked.

"No you idiot, in the box!" Gimles exclaimed. Everyone leaned over the box ohhhing and ahhhhing. GoGolf began to read the book as best he could. Poppy slowly slinked into a corner and accidentally knocked a flower pot into a well. It made a loud sound as it crashed against the well and fell to the earth.

"FOOL OF A TOOK!" GoGolf scream.

"Is that like your catch phrase?" Sham inquired.

"You have just caused great peril!" GoGolf continued.

"Hey don't yell at him! You're the reason we're in here in the first place!" Acorn yelled.

"Stop yelling at me!" yelled GoGolf.

"Stop yelling at Acorn for yelling at you!" Fernando yelled

"Stop yelling at me for yelling at Acorn for yelling at me! GoGolf yelled.

"Stop yelling at me for yelling at you for yelling at Acorn for yelling at you!"

Fernando yelled. Gimles cried loudly.

"What's the matter Gimles?" Merfy asked.

"My uncle and I used to have fights like this." Gimles sobbed. Suddenly there was a knock at the door that had been open just seconds before.

"Who is it?" Lego asked. The only response was a battering ram shoved through the door. "Well that's rude!" Lego exclaimed putting his hands on his hips.

The Fellowship readied themselves for battle. Several orcs, a troll and a black cat burst through the door. Acorn, Lego, Gimles, GoGolf and Bomby succeeded in slaying the orcs before they could harm the hobbits, but before they could stop it the troll gave Fernando a hard blow to the chest. He hit the wall and slid to the floor.

"Mr. Fernando!" Sham shouted. Acorn and GoGolf ran to Fernando's aid as another group of orcs rushed through the now open door. Acorn lifted Fernando and the Fellowship leaped down the stairs which magically turned into a slide.

"WEEEEEEE!" everyone, including the semi-conscious Fernando shouted. When they reached the bottom they found themselves on a narrow bridge. A monster of smoke and fire came onto the bridge. All gasp dramatically.

"I will fight this fiend." Acorn said bravely.

"No young one," GoGolf began.

"Isn't he like 87 years old?" Lego whispered to Gimles.

"This creature and I share a special bond, a bond of oldness, I shall meet him in battle." GoGolf said chivalrously.

"Uhhh…" everyone else said dumbly. GoGolf walked to the halfway point of the bridge and raised his sword. The creature leaped on GoGolf hurling them both onto the Random weak spot of the stone bridge. GoGolf managed to grab the very edge of the remaining piece of bridge.

"Somebody help me!" GoGolf exclaimed. The Fellowship backed away toward the exit of Moria. "Oh come on! Someone help me please!" All other members of the Fellowship slowly slinked away out of Moria as GoGolf fell into the infinite abyss.

Outside Moria:

"Does anyone else think we might've been able to help him?" Merfy asked shrugging.

This chapter didn't take long to post because it was already in the right format so… YAY! Please read and review! Sorry, there are no author-to-reviewer notes this time because I'm literally posting this minutes after I posted the chapter 10.


	12. Lost in Lothlorian

This will be the last chapter of How the Fellowship REALLY got started. But the trilogy will be continued in The Three Rather Tall Buildings and whatevr I name the parody for Return of the King. Please Read, Review, and Enjoy but mostly Review!

Chapter 12: Lost in Lothlorian

"Yes we should have!"

"No, we shouldn't have!"

"Oh, we so should have!"

"No, we totally shouldn't have!"

"We really should've helped the old guy!" Merfy argued.

"Don't you remember how mean he was to you my short friend?" Acorn asked. "I mean he picked fights with you, he made fun of your shortness and he stole your apple."

"That was all you!" Merfy shouted.

"Oh…right," Acorn said "but still now you have me, the slightly less old, less magical man to guide you."

"I feel safe!" Lego muttered sarcastically.

"So onward we march!" Acorn said commanding.

"Do you know where we're supposed to go?" inquired Fernando raising his eyebrow.

"Umm…well...no…but look over there!" Acorn said and began hoping down the Random hill they were sitting on. Everyone else shrugged and skipped down the hill after him. Halfway down the hill Bomby, who was walking in back as usual, tripped over his own shoe and landed on Sham in front of him. He and Sham rolled down bumping into Fernando who bumped into Merfy who bumped into Poppy. By this time they were a large rolling ball of people and hobbits. The

ball then collected Lego and Gimles and stopped an inch short of hitting Acorn. With his ultra Ranger senses he spun around and saw the gigantic ball constructed of his companions.

Hobbits2 watching from afar could only laugh until the point where they forgot to breathe where they were forced to revive one another before breaking into another laughing fit.

"Poke!" Acorn said as he poked the ball, making it fall apart and throwing all who were in it to the ground.

"Oww!"

"Eww!"

"That's my face!"

"Wow!" Poppy exclaimed.

"What is it? Poppy?" Lego asked.

"Look." Poppy said pointing.

"Awwww!" everyone said mesmerized looking at the PRETTY forest in front of them.

"We have reached the magical land of Lothlorian." Acorn said stepping ahead of the rest of the Fellowship. He then turned to face them very solemnly and then started to tap dance. Lego skipped happily across the border of Lothlorian and into the foreign land. The others followed except Gimles who never obtained the ability to skip and tripped within seconds.

"Help! I'm being crushed!" Gimles cried.

"Umm…by what?" Merfy asked.

"By the rock!" Gimles shouted angrily.

"There's no rock!" Merfy shouted back even though they were only 2 feet apart.

"Come on! I wanna go!" Acorn whined and easily lifted Gimles off the ground and pulled Merfy by the ear into Lothlorian.

"They always pick on the short ones!" Merfy said slightly annoyed. Two male elves approached The Fellowship.

"Hello we are two male elves and we are approaching you!" They said.

"Who are you?" asked Acorn. The elves exchanged he-is-such-a-stupid-human glances.

"I am Celebrate and this is my friend Holdir." Celebrate answered. "My wife, the Lady Glady, never lets me talk so until we see her I will NOT shut up! Blah. Blah. Blah…" Everyone tuned him out.

"So Holdir, will you take us to Glady? I feel we must speak to her." Acorn said once again assuming the role of the leader.

"Yes, my friend I shall take you to the Lady. But I must warn you, the way you picture the fair elven Lady Glady will change once you meet her." Holdir said solemnly before throwing each member of the Fellowship to the home of Glady one by one.

"What the…" Fernando gasped when he arrived at a brightly lighted gazebo to find Glady dancing like a rock star.

"I told you!" Holdir rang in an I-told-you-so voice.

"We have guests!" Galdy scream jumping up and down and clapping like a little girl.

"Umm…right…can you help us with our journey Acorn inquired slightly disturbed by this first impression.

Hobbits2 also look frightened, but also think this Glady could be cool.

"You're so PRETTY!" Lego said in a childlike voice. Glady did a flip and landed squarely in front of them.

"What great quest brings you here?" she asked still in a girlish voice. Acorn and Lego attempt to tell her why they were there when she spotted the other members of The Fellowship, Holdir, and her husband, Celebrate.

"Celebrate where have you been? Oh my god! You were with another elf! I bet it was that blond you're always with! Glady scream.

"That's you!" Celebrate said defensively.

"So you admit it! You're cheating on me! Wah!" Glady shrieked and ran off. Celebrate sighed.

"Well I shall lead you to your stead for tonight and perhaps in the morning you may seek the council of Glady." With that Celebrate lead the Fellowship to the elvish apartment where he stayed when Glady was angry at him. Incidentally this was quite frequently.

The next morning:

The Fellowship finds Glady talking to another elf." I have just learned the great significance of your task." She said calmly addressing the Fellowship. "It is

not as safe as it once was in the land of Lothlorian. You must leave at once." She added.

"But…but we just got here! And I really like you elvish folk Sham complained.

"I realize the quick departure is startling to you all. So tonight you may stay in the Home of Glady. Come, I will show you the way." Glady said apologetically.

The Fellowship and Celebrate began to follow Glady when she suddenly turned to face Celebrate. "Not you." she stated firmly.

Celebrate sighed heavily and walked in the other direction, running into many trees as he went.

That night after the Fellowship had fallen asleep Galdy roused Fernando and Sham and said she had something important to show them. She led them to a courtyard surrounded by to much security to make people feel anything less then terrified that some evil would spring out of the ground and try to kill them. Anyway, the courtyard had a bird bath in the middle. Next to the bird bath was the Mirror of Glady.

"Look into the pool." she said waving her hand over the water. Fernando and Sham didn't move. "Look into the pool." she repeated. Fernando and Sham remained stock-still. "I said look into the pool!" Glady screamed. She was so angry now that she turned blue and hovered above the ground as she said. Suddenly she was trapped in a net from above. Fernando and Sham thought this would be a good time to look into the pool. Sham nearly fell into the pool but was saved by the G.I. Joe rubber ducky navy. Then magical images started to appear… It was a… light bulb. Then the light bulb turned off and a drunk man appears, then he was hit by a motorcycle and there were some depressing images of the Shire that don't really matter because they will most likely be cut out of the story anyway, then the water in the pool turned into a giant bubble which Sham and Fernando chased until they fell into the water where the Fellowship, Holdir, Celebrate, and Glady now only slightly tangled in the net, were standing by the river bank.

The elves and Fellowship just look at them as if they are not surprised at all that they just fell down a hill that is still surrounded by high-tech security. The elves started giving the Fellowship directions.

"Get in the River and choose the path which is best for you." Glady said, sounding proud of herself.

"Wow! That was so helpful! THANK YOU PRETTY LADY!" Gimles said wayyy to happy.

"Oh and here are some boats!" Celebrate added. Glady glared at him. Celebrated gulped.

The elves guided The Fellowship to the River which was about 2 feet away, where they loaded into the boats and sailed off. They were quickly out of the sight of Lothlorian and came to a three-way fork in the River. The boat that held Poppy and Merfy bore left. The boat carrying Acorn, Lego and Gimles was pushed to the left-most part of the River. The boat that Fernando and Sham were in was pulled toward the right-most section of the River. Bomby had unfortunately been forgotten on land.

The adventure of Fernando and Sham was about to begin.

"It'll be ok Mr. Fernando, at least now we can sing to our heart's content! LAAAAA!" Sham said comfortingly.

"Shut up Sham!"

"Yes, Mr. Fernando"

Well, that's the end. Well, not really… I hope to start posting The Three Rather Tall Buildings soon, so please read it when I do! And as always read and review! Sorry to all Hobbits2 fans that they weren't in this chapter a lot but the first chapter of the sequel is nearly all about them. Sooo… The End!


	13. Ch 1: I'm not Dead, Yet!

_**The Three Rather Tall Buildings**_

Ok, just so everyone's clear this is the second story, the parody of The Two Towers but I'm making the trilogy all one story so I can get more Reviews! Also, I'm renaming the story The Lad of the Shiny Circle. That is the overall trilogy and How the Fellowship REALLY got started is the parody of Fellowship of the Ring. I think this one will be quite a bit longer. And I'm not yet sure if I'll follow the book's timeline or the movie's. But for now Chapter One:

"I'm not Dead Yet!"

Disclaimer: "Well, I was going to rant about Corporate America and it's trying to take over all the good and hobbity things in this world but instead I'll just list the things I don't own. Obviously I don't own Lord of the Rings. It's very sad I know. Also Karvian would like me to inform you all that I do not own the COOOOOOOOKIE Crisp saying and that she is claiming ownership to the 'We-hate-the-cookie-crisp-dog-club.' Also I probably say that I don't own the added characters other than myself, and I'm not entirely sure everyone would agree with that fact…looks over at parents and upset friends…so I think that's everything, so Read and Review PLEASSSSE! Yes, that sounds desperate but so what as long as you review!"

Chapter 1: "I'm Not Dead, Yet!"

Bomby, Katie, Chloe, Kelli, and Jared wave goodbye as they watch all the boats carrying the Fellowship sail away.

"Umm Chloe," Katie said.

"Yea,"-Chloe

"Do you see a problem with this picture?"-Katie

"Not really." Chloe said still waving.

"We're not with the Fellowship!" Katie shouted finally drawing Chloe out of her daze.

"Oh shit!"

"You still have me." Bomby said in a rather Eeyore like voice.

"You're about to die you fool."- Jared

"What?!" Bomby exclaims as he is knocked off a Random cliff that is only about 2 feet deep but he still screams like a sissy little girl the whole way down.

"So not that he's dead…" Kelli started.

"Wait, I'm not dead yet!" Bomby said from somewhere directly underneath their feet as they were standing on his face.

"Umm…"- They all said and start playing Twister**® **on his back.

"I'm still not dead!" Bomby screamed.

"Oh…" Hobbits2 slowly slidily walk away.

"Where are we supposed to go now?" Kelli asked to no one in particular.

"Well with Bomby being dead and all…"- Katie

"I'm not dead! See me! Me no deady!" Bomby screamed jumping up and down.

"Wow. Dude. I see dead people."- Chloe

"I think that joke's a bit old by now. I don't mean the part without the Wow. Dude. But the other part."- Katie sort of explained.

"We should sneek up on the Fellowship and tip their boats!" Jared exclaimed. Everyone just stared at him and blinked.

"Yea!!!" Everyone finally shouts.

"Yes, finally I shall get my vengeance tipping over the boat of Acorn. Something I have wanted to do since I was a little girl." Bomby mumbled deviously.

"Oh, who cares about you? You're dead!" Kelli said as she pushed him into the whirlpool.

"WEEEE! I mean…I'm not dead!" Bomby screamed. "Nooo! Bomby! I'll come back for you…if I don't forget." Katie said walking away. (A quote for Katie donated by Katie)

Meanwhile…

Acorn is standing in the boat whistling and rocking it from side to side.

"Acorn you're gonna tip the boat!" Gimles yelled loud and dramatically for no apparent reason.

"Ah, is Gim-mi-gim-gims afraid of a little wa-wa?" Lego said in a weird baby voice and pinched Gimles' cheeks causing him to smack in the head with an axe and Random people on the bank stare at them.

Acorn was about to say something but got distracted by the shiny nuclear waste barrel at the bottom of the river. So he jumped high in the air and made a movement that made him look like he was trying to impersonate a fish but ended up looking like a drunken, demented bird and dove into the water screaming "SHINY UNDERPANTS!!!"

Lego was slimly escaping death only because he had taken his 'head-numbing-so-you-won't-die-when-a-phycotic-dwarf-tries-to-kill-you' pill earlier that morning. This incidentally didn't make Gimles very happy.

"Ah! Why…won't…you…die?!" Gimles screamed right in Lego's ear.

Lego fell backwards, his eyes unblinkingly staring at the sky, actually directly at the sun which never led to anything good, in a deadish position.

"Lego," Gimles shook him frantically. "Lego…Legooooooooooooooooooooooooo." He screamed as the camera zoomed out to reveal trees, mostly dead, and what used to be beautiful landscaping (Merfy and Poppy smile evilly). Someone stops the tape.

"And that concludes our 'How-Not-To-Kill-A-Pretty-Elf' video and…Live from New York It's Saturday Night!"

"Uh Bob…"

"Yea, Joe."

"Well, this is a tape so it won't be live and we're in ME, not NY and it's noon on Wednesday."

"Really?"

"Yea." Joe shrugged.

"Uh…oh well," Bob walked off the set and turned off the lights causing Joe to stare blankly after him. He just shrugged and un-paused the tape.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Acorn popped out of the water with a rock between his teeth. He quite remarkably resembled a dog. He then climbed into the boat on all fours as Gimles continued to scream. Without noticing the…er…odd return of Acorn. He continued talking to Lego's dead-like body, though in a much softer voice.

"You know, I never really acted like I really liked you liked you, but I guess I may have been a bit…well, shy. But you know how we dwarfs are, living in isolation in our mountains and blah blah blah…"

Getting sick of the Dwarfish rant Lego 'sprang back to life' and started to laugh uncontrollably. "You…you should've seen your face…" Lego squealed between giggles. "'I never really acted like I liked you liked you…' Lego laughed hysterically. Gimles came out of shock at this, which made him drop Lego against the boat which just made him laugh harder and louder.

"Damn it all, I thought you were dead…I was gonna take your shiny bow. " Gimles pouted as Lego continued to laugh. "And I was gonna use you for target practice." Gimles smirked.

"Now, now I don't think Glady would approve of that now would she?" Lego teased and Gimles fumed.

Acorn stared at the two of them still not understanding and looking like a puppy and dropped all the things he was carrying in his mouth and started to stand up like a normal person when…BAM!

"Owww! Ah! That REALLY hurt! Oh! My back will kill for days!" He screamed in agony as Gimles axe had just landed square in the middle of the center of his back.

"Oh is Acorn getting all old and squirrelish just like old GoFart?" Lego taunted again in his weird mock-baby voice.

Acorn just stared at him wildly. His eyes looked like a cat's.

"Wow…your eyes…they're so SHINY!" Gimles said all mesmerized.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!" Acorn said acting like he was surrounded by complete psychopaths (he wasn't far off).

In another part of the River…

"Look Mr. Fernando!" Sham pointed to a spot in the water.

"Where?"

"There." He pointed and waved his arm frantically.

"Where?" Fernando asked, totally oblivious.

"There! In the water! I said water Mr. Fernando!"

"There's water! Oh no where?! Oh, save me Sham I'm allergic to water!"

"No, you're not." Sham said raising an eyebrow at his crazy master.

"What?! Fernando whips out a clipboard with a list on it. Things I'm allergic to: peas, pink flowers, book socks, batteries, Sham, Uncle Bobo's toilet. "Ehmm, you're right!"

"There's something in the water. I think it's that HAHA, it is. I say I don't trust him Mr. Fernando." Sham said trying to block out the images of dancing furbies. But instead HAHA creepily peaking his yes out of the water it was Hobbits2 and Bomby…DUN DUN DUN!!!

"Just look at the sky, Merfy." Poppy said cooking bacon inside the wooden boat.

"Why? What about it?" Old Merfykins asked.

Actually there were balloons and exploding torpedoes in the sky mixed with a large bowl of fruit punch and clouds made out of rainbow colored crunch berries.

"Coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookie Crisp!" Merfy jumped up and shouted, tipping the boat, sending bacon, 27 "misplaced" piggy banks and fingernail clippings (thanks Buba) down the river.

After retrieving most of the items, they un-flipped the boat and started having a pillow fight. Poppy got the first hit. This, of course, caused the boat to flip and for Random supplies to end up in the water several more times. After nearly losing some pipeweed (don't worry it was salvaged) they decided to stop and actually stay on the boat for a bit. That's when they noticed they were approaching Acorn's, Lego's, and Gimles' boat. Which was odd since they had left awhile before them as they were planning Bomby's burial without a body or any evidence that he was in fact dead.

"We shall search for them night and day!" Acorn said proudly and leaderly as he walked up and down the boat.

"Uh Acorn," Gimles tried to cut in.

"We will search far and wide, up and down, left and right, place to other place…" Acorn continued, ignoring him.

"But isn't that…" Gimles attempted to explain again.

"We will travel all Middle Earth trying to find Poppy and Merfy!" Acorn ended solemnly. Lego twirled his hair randomly and stuck it in his mouth and started chewing it.

"Yummm…tastes like shampoo…Herbal Essences!" He said to himself, hyperventilating at the excitement of shampoo. "And conditioner, don't forget the conditioner."

"Acorn isn't that the Hobbits now?!" Gimles yelled right in his ear as Merfy and Poppy's boat floated right past them and the Hobbits were waving and smiling happily until they were picked up and half-swallowed by a tree.

"What Hobbits?" Acorn asked confused as he turned to see the empty boat next to him.

"Oh, nevermind you fool." Gimles huffed.

"He huffed and he puffed and blew the house down." Lego said bopping up and down to the non-existent music in his head and smiling…rather like a duck.

"I'm not Dead Yet!"


	14. Ch 2: Where oh Where Has The Plot Gone?

**The Three Rather Tall Buildings**

**Chapter 2: Where oh Where has the Plot Gone?**

Ok, this post has been slightly belated because I am a VERY slow typer and I'm also working on another attempt at a serious story about the Marauders (which I finally learned how to spell correctly!) but I will try to keep up the updates on both, I'm not sure what will come of that though…heh. Anyway… this chapter, as you can tell by the title, is a random chapter where the plot processes very little or not at all, pretty much like the chapters To the Club and At the Club of How the Fellowship REALLY Got Started. So…please enjoy and read and REVIEWWWWWWWWW! (now the word review will echo in your mind until you review, Mahahahahhahahaha!)

Disclaimer: "Mahahahahahahahaha! Hehehehehehehehehehe! Ahem! I mean Lord of the Rings belongs to..."

Pirate swinging on rope breaks through glass window and lands next to author.

"Uh, Chloe you've done this before."- Katie

"Really? Well, I bet I haven't done this before!" Chloe runs off and jumps on a huge firework that flies into the sky and when it explodes glitter in the sky spells out "I don't own LOTR."

"She has definatley never done that before."

"See…original." Chloe said suddenly appearing on the ground non-exploded.

"Whoa. But how..., oh nevermind," Katie gave up trying to understand how they all survived random things.

-

"Mr. Fernando! Mr. Fernando! Mr. Fernando!" Sham shouted frantically.

"Sham, I'm right here, I'm not having a spasm, and I'm even conscious. What is it?" Fernando complained.

"In the water. That thing's still in the water. I think it's following us." Sham said suspiciously, not noticing that "the thing" was Bomby and Hobbits2 with their heads popping out of the water with lilies on their heads mouthing "we're following you."

Then Bomby and Hobbits2 gave each other a secrety signal that signified that it was time to have a…TEA PARTY underwater! During the TEA PARTY Bomby tripped and spilled his tea on Kelli. Kelli crept up and stole Gimles' axe while he was crying like a baby at the "loss" of Lego. "YOINK!" she yelled her classic expression that wasn't actually hers. She took the axe and clonked Bomby over the head with it. He was miraculously still alive.

"I'm not dead yet!" Bomby said very under watery as he was indeed underwater. (Those dwarfs should really do better inspections on their axe products).

Suddenly Sham's hair caught fire when Bomby's Denethorpyro sences were tingling. Sham jumped into the water hoping to extinguish the large fireball that had taken the place of his head. But instead when making contact with the water it quadrupiled in size and firyness.

"Hehe quadrupile…"

"Uh, author person…"

"Oh right…"

So anyway, the large firemass that was Sham landed on top of the underwater-non-water-proff-ish tent where the TEA PARTY was being held. The tent then spontaneously combusted setting off an explosion where the stuffed animals were holding a tea party of their own.

So much fluffy stuffing…

Seeing this, Fernando got jealous that all these people were having this caught-on-fire-explody-melting-in-water-watching-the-mass-massacere-of-stuffed-animals-fun without him and jumped in the water to join the excitement. Fernando's cloak was caught in an oddly placed ceiling fan on his way down from the boat.

"No, Mr. Fernando!" Sham shouted in a worried-can't-decide-if-I'm-melting-or-drowning-or-burning-to-death voice.

A half-surviving stuffed bunny walked/attempted-to-hop-and-fell-multiple-times over Fernando… "Hello." It said so sweetly Fernando felt the need to pet it but he stuck his hand out and suddenly one of his fingers was gone!

"No that's not supposed to happen yet! Why Mr. Cute Fuzzy Bunny? Why?" Fernando questioned.

"Oh! I'm not 'Mr. Cute Fuzzy Bunny' I'm…" he went to rip off his costume, his voice getting eviler by the second, but he exposed a Yoda mask.

"Ah!" Fernando screamed. "Not another oldie! I can't even listen to the Oldies radio station anymore thanks to you people! And it was my favorite!"

"What! No, not right, that is." He said ripping off the mask to reveal a Furbie. Fernando shrieks, Sham attempts to bake him. "Damn, that's not right either!" He said looking down at himself. This time he tore the costume showing a very frustrated mutated form of both Smugoal and HAHA. But he was wearing an "I 3 Lego" T-shirt which he then gently took off and folded and placed it neatly in his suitcase next to his unfinished manuscript of "Why not to be attracted to Shiny Things you find at the Bottom of Rivers," his preciousss novel of "schizophrenia for Idiots," and his Esteé Lauder perfume.

"Yea 'tis I and I have come to… KILL you!" The Smugoal/HAHA combination exclaimed.

"You're so puppyish." Fernando stared at THE creature mesmerized and tried to pet it once again.

"No Mr. Fernando! Don't trust him! Don't be sucked in by his fluffy cuteness or that large fan behind you!" Sham said still burning in the water on top of the TEA PARTY tent.

"Whoooooooooooooooo!" Hobbits2 said rather drunkenly (what was in that tea!). As they fly out of the tent and watch it explode…again. This time a passed-out Bomby flew out of the enormous pile of towels that had appeared there after the first tent explosion.

No, the pile of towels had not been inside the tent nor had the tent been made out of towels…they were just simply there.

After Bomby had been jettisoned out of the towel pile in an astronaut seat wearing a snorkel and a bright orange business suit, the towel pile started to…talk.

"Who dare make me puke on my kitty?" He asked in a threatening/ I've-smoked-too-much-tobacco voice.

The towel pile ate Gimles…just because. Once inside his throat Gimles swung his axe around , and actually caused some damage this time but was swallowed anyway and was forced to use the box he had in the pocket of his pink fleece hoody. The package had a squirt gun, plastic explosives, and a flask of Irish Wiskey- product of Toys 'R' Us. He was thinking up a clever plan to escape from the towel monster but at the idea of thinking his mind exploded and green ozze started to come out of his ear, but he didn't seem to notice because…well, his mind had just exploded.

Outside the Towel Monster's stomach:

"I am the mighty towel monster of… Askaban."

"Askaban? What the rocky hell is Askaban?" Lego asked skeptically.

"Oh sorry, I meant I am from the evil lands of…MORDOR!"

All who were around including most of the Fellowship (Gimles and GoGolf had… disappeared), Bomby who no one really noticed or bothered to ask how the hell he got there, and Hobbits 2 gasped.

"MUHAHAHAHAHA!" cough. "HAHAHAHA" cough. "HAHAHAHA" cough. "Uh, could you get me my inhaler please?" The Towel Monster asked quietly, too quietly, so quietly only a little spastic freak could hear it.

"Here you go precioussssssss." The HAHA/Smugoal contraption said handing it or rather throwing it onto the pile of towels.

Since the towel monster had no arms it whistled, spitting out Gimles, and calling its helper…washcloth.

"Oh…" Gimles complained "I liked it in there." So he tried to jump back into the towel monster's stomach but was caught in the net that Lego had set up earlier as a decoration in his fort.

"Wow! Where did you learn to do that?" Acorn asked.

"I was an Elf Scout," Lego said proudly.

"Well, I was a Squirrely Scout!" Acorn said trying to look proud but just ended up falling backward instead.

"Oh what did you do Acorn, eat yourself?"

"No, what did you do? Prance around modeling whitey-tightys!"

Everyone turns at this and stares at Acorn and Lego.

Meanwhile Gimles ate through the licorice rope, with some difficulty because it kept getting stuck on his braces. He was crawling on the ground…not for any reason in particular…seeing this, HAHA saw that it was his destiny to… RIDE GIMLES LIKE A HORSIE! So, he jumped on his back and kicked him in the sides yelling "Giddy-up precioussss!"

This caused Gimles to neigh wildly and run off into the sunset, or a tree, whichever came first.

Rain (no, not water, the girl) falls out of storm cloud hovering over Bomby's head. "OOOOOOOOO K..." she said as she looked down to see she was sitting on top of a man with red-ish hair and is surrounded by her friends and a bunch of odd looking people that she has never seen before but recognizes them by the very detailed description of all of them that Katie and Chloe give her during classes.

"Your hair...it's soooo shiny and blonde like mine!" Lego does cool hair-flippy thing. Fangirls stare in awe. "I must...touch it!" He squeals and runs toward Rain who shrieks and runs away screaming about the strange person chasing her trying to touch her hair.

"THE WORLD IS NOT RIGHT!" Katie screamed and ran in circles.

**End of Chapter**

Horray! I FINALLY finished typing! That took me soooo long! So easily distracted… shiny! No, no…I'm ok! Ok everybody you know you wanna review! You do! PLEASE REVIEW!


	15. Ch 3: The Insanity of ME

I know I haven't posted in FOREVER and I greatly apologize to anyone who actually cared about this story. But I am back and ci will not abandon the randomness! Chapter 3 of The Three Rather Tall Buildings is here! Please Read & Review!

If this was a serious fic I would use J.R.R. Tolkein's idea of making the first half of the book about most of the Fellowship and the second half and Samwise and Frodo. But since this is totally random shit off the top of my head I won't.

Has anyone ever noticed how many things are square/rectangular? I mean it gets so boring! Come on, people, be creative. – This message was brought to you by the random thoughts in the author's head and the Green Bean Foundation, "If it's not green it's just not right."

Disclaimer: Somewhere in a big city in a tall building in a floor with stairs in a storage room in a box in a small box sit the rights of ownership to Lord of the Rings and all other Tolkien works. I have no access to this box because the room has security cameras.

Chapter 3 of The Three Rather Tall Buildings: The Insanity of M.E.

A rubber chicken stared blankly into space.

Poppy and Merfy ran over a bump in the water. Poppy took no notice that they were now in a bank of mud and the motor was making a death noise, and continued to salute invisible electrical outlets in his Captain Hook costume. (He had to wear two eye patches because when he was still getting used to his hook hand he scratched his eye, but didn't feel like taking the other patch off.

"Poppy the crazy salin' dude, Poppy the high lil' guy on the sea, Popp-yyyyyy," Poppy sang the chorus, but since he was quite tone deaf it sounded a lot like someone was throwing a dying cat against ac brick wall.

"Hey Pop, Pops, Pop-a-lious, Pop boy, the boy de Pop, Bubble-wrap King - anyway, Poppy, don't you think we should check out whatever we hit or get out of this mud, or get away from that overbuilt, monkey, blue guy looking at us murderously?"

"Hey! This is my happy face."

The two hobbits ignored him and stared at each other for several hours, until it was dark and very night-ish, and then laughed hysterically.

The creepy blue guy got bored and fell asleep.

Some grumpy old bastard yelled "Shut up you conflabbed wippersnappers," from some random place in the distance.

(Unfortunately, this was not his first offense against hobbits, he once walked around the Shire in a Speedo®, and old men in speedos are not pleasant to look at.)

Poppy and Merfy continued to laugh and smoke until the boat slipped off the bank and drove against the current, directly into the waterfall.

The boat immediately shattered when it was popped by a sewing needle, despite its indestructibility.

Poppy and Merfy tried to tread water and keep their heads above water, but failed as they had had a bit too much ale when they were laughing (which incidently caused them to choke several times but luckily niether knew the heimlec so they ran against the edge of the boat, which they tripped over and flew into the water where they were saved by an electric eel who punched them in the stomach, causing them to puke and stop choking, it came to be a bit of a game after they stopped passing out from the shocks) and they were still tipsy.

Poppy managed to hold his lit pipe above water as long as he didn't come up more than once every 10 minute, though, on the occasion when he got the chance to breathe he took in air and a drag of his pipe, the smoke made amusing affects in the water.

Merfy, on the other hand, took the more reasonable approach of hovering in a meditating position and then spaztically kicking a large underwater bubble which apparently surrounding the city of Flantis that had been lost long ago.

"Please help us," the people of Flantis said simultaneously in a freakish robotic voice. But Merfy had kicked the DO-NOT-CARESS-THIS-BUTTON button and sent the Flantis residents spinning down a whirlpool of misery and woe.

"Weeeeeeeeeeee!" they shouted.

"I wish someone would spin us down a whirlpool of misery and woe EVERY day!" commented one particularly high Flantisian.

Suddenly, Poppy and Merfy felt a hard tug on their ears. "This reminds me of my days in Catholic school," Poppy reminisced "I think that nun really liked me."

When they were finally out of the water they realized the thing that was pulling them was the murderous-looking blue dude surrounded by other murderous-looking blue dudes.

"Hi, I'm Poppy,"Poppy said in a Spongebob-like voice.

"Who's Spongebob," inquired Merfy. He was then knocked unconscious for being too inquisitive.

"So... how are you doin'?"

A sudden change in storyline:

Acorn, Gimles, and Lego were cruising down the river in their pimped-out pirate ship.

"Crank up the stereo, Acorn!" Lego demanded from the back seat.

"I can't! I'm still to lose that freak!"

"Still? Merlin, he's persistant."

Hermoine Granger popped out of a plastic explosive on the deck and wapped Lego with a large textbook. "The use of the name Merlin in the place of a interjection is copyright of Harry Potter and the Crows Cut Grass Fanclub. Any use of it by other semi-fictional characters is illegal and just plain annoying. And..." she was shot by enough tranquilizer darts to kill an Oliphant.

Bomby was not far behind the boat and continued to ram his head into it at any chance he got.

"Anyone have any Advil?" Bomby massaged his temples as he gave the ram-your-head-into-the-boat manuever another go. But none of the Hobbits2 heard because they had found a new source of entertainment: pipes that blow bubbles.

"BUBBLES!" Katie shouted and blew more bubbles.

"Hehehehehehehehehehe," the other three imitation hobbits popped the bubbles.

Another random plot change:

"Say Sham, what ever happened to that strange hairless dog we hit with a Palm tree?" Fernando asked.

"Over here, Fernando!" El Smitho said from the other end of the boat.

"No, not you."

"Oh," El Smitho made an angsty face and jumped off the boat dramtically.

"Stupid poser," Sham said wearing his "I am Fernando" tee-shirt and playing with his plastic The One Ring he bought off e-bay.

"I'm right here my master," Smugol responded.

"Ah, that's the weirdo I was looking for!"

"So... dude... what... is... up... with... your... obbsession... with... the... one... ring?"

"It is his precioussssssssssss. HEHEHEHEHEHE. MUHAHAHAHA. MOOMOOMOOO." Sham said in the creepest voice known to hobbit kind.

(SLAP) "Snap out of Sham!" Fernando exclaimed.

"You... you... touched me! My life has meaning! All is good! I don't want to commit suicide anymore!" Sham spazed. Members of the Fellowship spazing always led to pain and suffering and fabulous enertainment for all who weren't enduring it. And that wasn't about to change.

Sham bounced up and down on the boat, this inevibily caused a large whole to appear in the bottom. One of those cartoon water spray things that could never happen in real life sprang out of the boat and flung Sham high into the air. He turned into a Sham-shaped ballon and flew away.

The actual end to an actual chapter where nothing actually happened and all sense of their being an actual plot was lost. Actually.

"Unless this was all a stoned fantasy... BUM BUM BUM"

"No, no it wasn't, and stop playing that weird music."

Monkey turns off what was supposed to be suspenseful music ("The Macarena") and turned on "Boggie Wonderland" and started to break dance.

Please Review!


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